So much for authority figures on Segways. The Portland Police Bureau is about to step it up a notch — well, in a year. For a summer.
Meet the Micro-Cycle, the robocop-esque electric crotch rocket of the future!

- Ryno Motors
- The micro-cycle waits.
PPB has signed a lease with local auto biz Ryno Motors to test out two of their spiffy, one-wheeled rides next year for a mere $1 each. The current prototype goes for $4,200 on the market. The electric micro-cycle (the name takes me back to fourth grade) can reach top speeds of 20 miles an hour and boasts a range of 30 miles. With a high-powered charger, the vehicle can power up in an hour and a half.
Ryno Motors created these electric vehicles with a seemingly undefined rider in mind. The lease with PPB, “validates the bike as being rugged and reliable and seen as having a useful purpose,” says Ryno CEO Christopher Hoffmann, according to Sustainable Business Oregon.
And the cops who’ve already had a sneak peek are pleased. “The most important thing for them is that when you stop, you put your feet down,” says Hoffman. Makes me wonder how cops stop on their bikes or motorcycles currently.
But — the futuristic fun doesn’t stop here! The Sustainable Business Oregon article goes on to illustrate the wonders of this EV unicycle. I feel like a list would do them justice:
– The micro-cycle will be “the ride of choice by musician-cum-actress” Carrie Brownstein in an upcoming episode of Portlandia AND will be featured in a patent office scene in Portland’s Leverage
– The micro-cycle design was inspired by a child’s video game
– Micro-cycle riders are at eye-level in conversation (this is creepy to me, maybe it’s just the wording)
– This bad boy can be fueled by a laptop charger
Alright. I’ll let the rest speak for itself. Prepare yourself, Portland.

UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
MAKE IT STOP!!!
Come on Graham. We can ride it together! Piggyback! Yaaay!
So Portland cops are now going to be riding on fancier version of this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ0X43Ck8mg…
Lord have mercy.
Chase ‘n Mace
Motobacone
Scooty Fuzz Jr.
I think it was Darkwing Duck. There was a crime fighting, robocop looking duck that rode a unicycle. What was his name?
@CHESTER COPPERPOT: YOU’RE THINKING OF GIZMO DUCK WHO WAS ON DUCK TALES. I’M NOT SURE IF HE WAS EVER A REGULAR CHARACTER ON DARKWING DUCK.
And his unicycle was built-in. Still, if you owned one of these….Halloween costume!
Thank you, Graham, for setting Mr. Copperpot straight.
You don’t see all those cops downtown doing trackstands on their fixies?
It is conveniently sized to allow them to bring it right into the Starbucks.
I’d prefer my Triumph or my Cannondale over this any day…cute party piece novelty though.
That is quite literally a crotch rocket.
Can’t cops fucking walk? Walk around the neighborhoods, pick up trash. Trash Cops, tough on crime while cleaning grime.