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Monday, March 16
Go to the Library
Wait a second. “The libraries are all closed,” you say. Yes, they are! But that doesn’t mean you still can’t use the library. It’s long been recognized that the Multnomah County Library is one of the best in the entire country, and part of that is due to how extremely online it is. If you’ve got a library card, you’ve got the ability to check out e-books, listen to audiobooks, and watch a bunch of legit great movies, all while still observing proper social distancing practices. Hey, speaking of…
(Now Streaming, Multcolib.org, free with library card/account, all ages)
Learn How and Why Social Distancing Practices Will Work For Us
One of the most interesting demonstrations of how and why social distancing is being strongly advised by every health, safety, and government official was put online at The Washington Post this weekend. Harry Stevens outlines in a clear, easy-to-understand manner, what options are available in response to the presence of a pandemic, and through the use of very compelling simulations (that run, and re-run, with unique results every time you scroll back and forth over the article) educates readers on why “flattening the curve” is of utmost importance if we’re going to come out of this even remotely “okay,” whatever that might mean in the future.
(Now available, Washington Post, free, all ages)
Frozen II
This second movie was more dark and generally, on the scare-o-meter, it would be higher than Frozen. I thought the animation in the movie was actually pretty good. There were those ice figures, and seeing the memory of Elsaโs mother and father. And the salamander fire dude was honestly really cool because heโs really cute and heโs a small salamander that causes large fire things. So I would honestly give the CGI a thumbs up. I feel like the whole point of this movie was: Do the next right thing. I feel like this movie was trying to send a message to kids to do the next right thing. (Now Streaming, Disney+, $6.99 per month, free trial here) SIMON HAM, AGE 12
TED Talk: Bill Gates
The co-founder of Microsoft just recently stepped down from the Microsoft Board to focus more on philanthropy efforts. In 2015, he gave a TED Talk specifically about how best to prevent a global pandemic. SPOILERS: at no point during his talk does he recommend electing a demented slumlord known best for hosting a reality show to the highest office in the land. And yet…
High Fidelity
After 25 years, Nick Hornbyโs storyโabout a pop-obsessed sad sack slooowly realizing what an insecure, selfish jackass he isโis finally perfected. All it took was showrunners Veronica West and Sarah Kucserka reinterpreting it as a TV show, gender-flipping the lead, and giving a transcendent Zoe Kravitz all of Williamsburg to play in. And boy, do images of Zoe Kravitz strolling all over Williamsburg play extra wistfully right now. But then again; if you can’t go out, why not tag along as Zoe tries a frose and hangs out with Jack Antonoff? Itโs like a low-key, vibier sort of Fleabag riff. Except technically it predates Fleabag. And has a way better soundtrack.
(Now Streaming, Hulu, $5.99 a month and up, free trial here) BOBBY ROBERTS
Blackbird Blackbird
Brooklyn-based electronic musician Mikey Maramag creates lush songscapes and hypnotic, optimistic pop tracks about all the good stuff: lost loves, new infatuations, picking yourself up off the ground, and peacing out. What started as a Four Tet-inspired UCSC bedroom electro project has morphed into shows all over the world and a steady stream of beautiful, atmospheric albums. Maramagโs latest, Hearts from 2019, breaks the long-running creepy flower visual which branded and easily identified his work, but songs like the title track still hit hard on nostalgic places (Iโve got Super Mario 3โs โKingโs Themeโย goosebumps) and the following โItโs So Hard to Say Goodbyeโย gives me straight-up Erasure synth-pop vapors. SUZETTE SMITH
Undone
One of the most adventurous, interesting, and affecting shows currently streaming is also one of the most low-key ignored things in the last couple years. But now is a good time to check out a bunch of stuff you might not have tried before, and friends: Undone is worth trying. Featuring rotoscoped animation of the sort Richard Linklater used amazingly well in his adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly (which doesn’t seem to be streaming anywhere right now, unfortunately), this sci-fi comedy/drama stars Rosa Salazar as an appealing screw-up whose life is tremendously upset by a near-death experience, and that’s before her dead dad, played by Bob Odenkirk, tells her she has the ability to travel through, and alter, time itself.
Now Streaming, Amazon Prime, free trial here)
Tuesday, March 17
Wash Your Hands
Have you touched your face recently? You probably did, because we’re a bunch of subconsciously face-touching people out here, we really are. And if you did, it’s probably a good time to wash your hands. Not just globbing a bunch of sanitizer on those hams, but getting some soap and water and lathering those babies up properly! Why? Read this very informative New York Times article on why soap specifically is a great weapon in the fight against communicable viruses.
(Your bathroom, or any sink you’re standing at, minimum 20 seconds with soap and water, free, all ages)
Go to the YouTube!
Did you miss the Democratic Debate that happened on Sunday night? You should watch it if you haven’t, if only for the stark reminder that adding a live studio audience to political policy debates is a pretty crappy idea that almost guarantees nothing of substance or meaning will come of holding one, as everyone involved instead tries to play to that live audience and continues to devalue the process as not much more than a bland reality show. People who are good at reality shows are, as it turns out, not great at things like “running the country.” Anyway, two different flavors of elderly grown-up got to talk for awhile about what they’d do if they were in charge of the country. One of them shouted “Go to the YouTube” at the other. Heed his words!
(Now Streaming, YouTube, free)
Pluto TV
Social Distancing is going to mean, for a lot of people, streaming. Good thing the internet is a public utility ahahahahaah-shit. Anyway, there’s already a few recommendations from Disney+ and Hulu in here, and guaranteed there’s going to be some Netflix shows and movies later in this post, but for those of you who remember the olden days of cable with a nostalgic fondness, guess what: Those days are backโthey have been for awhile now, via Viacom’s free streaming platform, Pluto TV. Remember lazily flicking through an on-screen guide, hoping to find a Real World/Road Rules marathon, or stumble on a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode, maybe just binge some music videos, catch an episode of a classic sitcom, and then catching the feeling of unearned success and triumph when you found such a thing? That exact experience is replicated all the time on Pluto TV. It’s as close to time traveling back to a late ’90s channel-surfing experience as you can get.
(Now Streaming, free, all ages)
Locke & Key
The Netflix adaptation of Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez’s acclaimed graphic novel series was… not good. But that’s okay because not only can you (virtually! not physically!) go to the library and check those comics out for your e-reader of choice, but you can also go to audible.com and download the radio drama adaptation of Locke & Key, a 13-hour-long full-cast dramatization of the horror-fantasy, starring Haley Joel Osment (!), Tatiana Maslany, Kate Mulgrew (Captain Janeway!), and more. If you’ve ever listened to a podcast for longer than three minutes, you’re probably familiar with Audible already, so this self-quarantine might be a perfect opportunity to finally give that 30-day free trial a run.
(Now available, Audible, $24.95, free with 30-day trial)
Taco Tuesday!
So you’ve braved the supermarket, you’ve shaken your head and rolled your eyes at the waste laid upon the paper-goods aisle, you’ve purchased your ingredients and you’re going to take this opportunity to try cookingโNot just heating up pre-made stuff in a microwave or following instructions on the back of a box, but cooking. This is a great idea! One of the most pleasant subscriptions on the grifting hellpit that is YouTube is the “Binging with Babish” channel, a cooking show cut up into bite-size videos, hosted by Andrew Rea. The channel’s bread-and-butter are Rea’s attempts to translate TV, movie, and cartoon food to reality, but he also has a series called “Basics with Babish” focused on just good, simple recipes that you can get a handle on in your own kitchen. Besids: you can’t really screw up a taco, right? Right.
(Now cooking, your kitchen, wash your hands, all ages)
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Last Saturday, Disney decided that while they were going to release Frozen II to Disney+ a couple months ahead of schedule, they were also going to put The Rise of Skywalker on sale a few days early. It was supposed to go on sale today, but I guess they figured since everyone was staying in, they might want some Star Wars to enjoy. But if you’re looking to actually enjoy a Star War… maybe skip spending money on Rise of Skywalker and instead dive into The Clone Wars, arguably the best pound-for-pound example of Star Wars‘ storytelling potential being realized, largely thanks to the character of Ahsoka Tano, who effectively becomes the show’s main character and retroactively justifes the existence of the prequels pretty much all by herself. What happened to Rey in The Rise of Skywalker will never not suck, but itโs nice to know thereโs a Star War that does right by its groundbreaking girl Jedi.
(Now Streaming, Disney+, $6.99 per month, free trial here)
McMillions
HBO’s latest documentary phenomenon isn’t as dark and foreboding as their previous trips through true-crime. Sure, it gets a little dramatic and tense; it’s a story about defrauding one of the biggest burger-slingers man has ever known, there’s going to be some heat applied. But for the most part it plays like a real-life Steven Soderbergh heist film, with all the goofy, quirky, and sort-of-sad personalities you’d expect in such a story.
(Now Streaming, HBO Go/HBO Now, $14.99 per month, free trial here)
Wednesday, March 18
Make Working From Home Way More Chill
Do you know this anime girl? She is the avatar for literally thousands of blissed-out hours of earning good grades, pushing through increased work productivity, and just generally enjoying quality beats. Chilled Cow is the name of the channel, and it’s known for providing livestreams of “chillhop” music, which is a new name for a style of hip-hop instrumental that “the kids” seem to think is new enough to deserve its own name but I, an old, simply recall as “what East Coast hip-hop sounded like basically all the time between 1995-2004.” Whatever it’s called, it’s been tested and proven as one of the best soundtracks for getting shit done, so if you’re still at home and your favorite podcast is getting a little too distracting, turn on a warm light, turn up the beats, and go.
(Now Streaming, YouTube, free, all ages)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Portland Center Stage unfortunately had to postpone their performances of this play, adapted from Mark Haddon’s acclaimed novel. Copy Chief Bob Ham saw it before the distancing began, and said “reader, I was a wreck before we even got to intermission.” (read his full review here) While we can’t watch the show now, we can still listen to the audiobook, which tells the story of a 15-year-old boy on the autism spectrum who tries to solve the crime he’s been accused of.
(Now available, Multnomah County Library, or Audible, $19.99, free with 30-day trial)
Queens of Adventure
One of the biggest disappointments among the Merc‘s editorial staff was the cancellation of Queens of Adventure, a touring show that took the timeless fun of D&D adventures, and blended them with the sort of extravagant absurdity that only the finest drag could provide. So yeah, basically the most Portland thing that’s ever existed but isn’t actually from Portland. Nevertheless the Queens perservered, and livestreamed a game of D&D from Seattle, hosted by Matt Baume, starring veteran gamers Arson Nicki, Fraya Love, and Bosco.
Shrill
Shrillโs second season picks up right after previous seasonโs climax, with Annie ( Aidy Bryant) running through the streets of Portland, high off confronting an online troll in person and throwing a rock at his car. And thatโs only the beginning of the sweet-tempered madness that is Shrill season two, a show thatโs narrative trajectory could be summed up pretty easily as โthe arc of Annie learning to be an amazing bitch.โ Itโs worth noting that Shrillโs second season loses the vivid, Portlandia-style visual zhuzh of season one, there are still plenty of gorgeous moments, like the brightness of Annieโs eyes against the flush of her skin after she pukes in a bathtub.
(Now Streaming, Hulu, $5.99 per month, free trial here) SUZETTE SMITH
Rebecca Solnit
Revolution Hall was supposed to be hosting a sit-down between Cheryl Strayed and Rebecca Solnit tonight, with topics sure to include both Men Who Explain Things To Me and her most recent release, the memoir Recollections of My Existence. But instead of gathering at Rev Hall, gather around this video from Our Shared Self Group, featuring Little Women star Emma Watson having a sit-down with Solnit to discuss her works, intersectionality, and inclusivness.
The Outsider
I know that Westworld‘s third season just started on HBO, and so that should be the suggestion here, but everyone who watches that show seems to have weeklong headaches after every episode and I don’t know if that’s a thing that should be recommended just yet. BUT: While Westworld has just started, The Outsider just finished, and this adaptation of a Stephen King book (by The Wire alumni and Lush Life author Richard Price) is flat-out amazing television, somehow melding all the best parts of other shows like Luther, The Fall, and Hannibal into an engrossing whole.
(Now Streaming, HBO Now/HBO Go, $14.99 per month, free trial here)
Thursday, March 19
Snoh Aalegra
Tomorrow was the day Snoh Aalegra was supposed to come through Portland and perform, but the coronavirus (and our idiot president’s negligence in responding to it) saw to that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy some of Snoh’s stirring soul. NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert series is an automatic subscribe if you spend any time on YouTube, and Snoh’s episode is a perfect example why. Read why Snoh Aalegra is a Mercury critics pick.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Doom: Eternal
Video games? Video games. There’s already been one mild frothing overreaction to Xbox Live’s servers going down since social distancing practices were put in place, and that’s to be understood since a lot of us plan to spend this quarantine time getting our game on. That the latest console installment of Nintendo’s sweet, engrossing, and horrifyingly addictive Animal Crossing drops on the very same day that Bethesda’s disgusting, visceral, and cathartic Doom: Eternal hits PS4, Xbox, and PC is not just beautiful timing, it’s provided a ton of wonderful online art blending the two together. Sometimes a sandwich of sweetness and savagery hits that spot just right. Hey, speaking of which…
(Available for purchase at 9pm PST; Animal Crossing via Nintendo Online; Doom: Eternal via PS4, Steam, or Xbox, $59.99)
Primal
The man responsible for some of the finest animation TV has ever seen (Samurai Jack, Powerpuff Girls, Dexter’s Laboratory, Star Wars: Clone Wars) returned to Adult Swim in 2019 with a goddamn vengeance. Primal is a wordless five-part story about a man and his dog, wherein the man is a prehistoric survivor of a horrific dinosaur attack that wiped out his family in three bites, and the dog is a Tyrannosaur who also lost her family in a similar fashion. The two team up out of necessity, and become a makeshift family of their own… while fighting a river of giant snakes, mountain-dwelling giant spiders, literal bat-men, and potion-slurping super-apes. It’s probably the best action movie since Mad Max: Fury Road.
(Now Streaming, Adult Swim, free)
Nas
As if that onstage collab between big Nas and Lil NasX at the Grammys wasnโt enough, Nasโ prolific debut album Illmatic is 25 years old this year, indicating that we are all getting very, very elderly. Before the Coronavirus hit, the legendary New York MC was supposed to team up with the Oregon Symphony as part of a 25th anniversary tour, to perform tracks like โHalftimeโ and โThe World Is Yoursโ from his critically acclaimed 1994 masterpiece. Instead, check out this PBS Great Performances appearance from the Kennedy Center in 2018, and judge with our own naked ears if the album was really worth that controversial five-mic rating from The Source. (Spoilers: it was. Still is.) JENNI MOORE
Star Trek: Picard
Star Trek: Picard is greatโanchored by a fantastic performance from Patrick Stewart, the show, overseen by Michael Chabon, ticks off all the sci-fi boxes (spaceships! laser guns! acid-spewing aliens!) while also weighing in on current events and reflecting on personal frailty and societal obligation. (In other words… pretty much like the best Star Trek, then.)
(Now Streaming, CBS All Access, $5.99 per month, free trial here) ERIK HENRIKSEN