Washington state is in a dither over how to deal with now-legal recreational dope smokers driving around stoned out of their gourds—AS WELL THEY SHOULD BE. So in the name of “journalism”—let’s stop and giggle about that for a moment… giggle. Giggle. Giggle.—Seattle’s KIRO news asked three volunteers to get increasingly and completely baked and then drive around a closed course, accompanied by a cop. And the results may NOT surprise you! In fact, everything that you expect to happen does happen, and the drivers’ ability to operate their vehicles safely disintegrates with every puff, puff, pass.

HOWEVER! I will admit that baked drivers are funnier than drunk drivers—as proven by test subject Addy, who runs her smart cute mouth during the entire demo, AND showed up to the test already high! Here’s her extended cut, and you can watch the other participants here.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

5 replies on “Stoned Seattle Gal Takes Most Awesome Driving Test Ever”

  1. Ugh. It drives me crazy that they didn’t find any way to test reaction time. I’m not worried about someone that stoned going off the road or clipping a stop sign — I’m worried about them not being able to stop in time for a bicycle or a kid in the street or an imaginary skunk, no, really, I swear to god it was just there.

  3. I don’t know if reaction time would answer anything, because stoned drivers might (it’s possible) drive slower which could negate any decrease. I’m not channelling this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2OCm7vRSRg) any more than I have to, but their velocity before/after stoned is very different. Being inattentive is probably more of a problem. Notice Addy joke about “should I answer my cell phone?”– she has insight, and jokes about it. She’s high and makes the right decision.

  4. How is this anything but anti-marijuana propaganda? At the end of the video it says she opposes driving while high. Awesome, so you just tricked us in to watching a fundamentally biased video.

  5. Lies! There are absolutely no negative aspects of marijuana use! None. Zero. It is impossible for there to be any. Any and all attempts to paint the Hobbiton Herb as anything other than a magical wonder drug shall be met with dissembling, fierce denials, and outright name calling. In fact, when I smoke marijuana, I exhale unicorn breath and my eyes shoot rainbows with healing powers.

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