Here’s a recent submission to the I, Anonymous Blog that… HEY!! This title is DISGUSTING!! “Portland Girls and their Dirty Pussies,” indeed! I am going to report this to the… wait a second.

Portland girls: I love it when you invite me for a sleepover, you are beautiful and sexy. What’s not sexy is when your cat crawls up on the bed, tracking shit from the litter box and whatever else he has been into outside during the day. I know he lounges all over the bed throughout the day and its pretty nasty to think thats where I lay my head after we make love.

OHHHHH, I get it. I thought this person was talking about pussy willows. People should really clean those things more often. Do you have a gripe or confession you’d like to get off your chest? The I, Anonymous Blog is obviously the place to be!

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)