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In the words of E.A. Bucchianeri, “Art is in the eye of the beholder!” But sometimes the “beholder” can be a real piece of work. For example, check out this anonymous submission to the I, Anonymous Blog, where the writer has some very pointed criticisms about children who DARE to use the public sidewalks as their own personal art galleries! THE NERVE.

You: drawing stupid hopscotch squares, ponies, hearts ABC’s, and other nonsense on the sidewalk. Your parents are obviously okay with this since they never insist you clean it up afterwards. In fact, you also never pick up the various leftover chalk nubs that also sometimes litter the sidewalk.

Me: tired of looking at your horrible “artwork” everyday until it rains. Lately at night, I’ve taken it upon myself to….

They’ve taken it upon themself to do what exactly? Check out the rest of this submission here! (Spoiler alert: It’s not very nice.) Do you have a confession, rant, or true tale of unnecessary revenge you want to get off your chest? Post it anonymously in the I, Anonymous Blog—the online home of the chalked hopscotch square.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)