This weekend, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away. No matter what you think about the man, it’s undoubtedly true that things are going to get interesting in American politics. It's looking like Congressional Republicans are going to do their damnedest to stop President Obama from nominating his replacement before the election. I think they should confirm whomever the president nominates without debate as long as Obama picks Scalia’s replacement the same way Ben is is finding his wife: through many group dates and 1-on-1’s on national TV. Loretta Lynch do you accept this gavel? Anyway, The Bachelor is on.

Get caught up with last week’s recap here: Click to read my ruling on Mercury V Bachelor.

Episode Preview: Warsaw, Indiana. Baseball. Introductions to Ben’s family, "Emotions," Ben doesn’t know what to do. Let’s go!

More after the JUMP >>>>

We open on the country folksiness of Warsaw, Indiana. Ben’s hometown. He’s driving around an old red pickup, trying to seem blue collar. I bet his hands are softer than the President’s.

Ben goes to a greasy spoon diner to have breakfast with his parents. The chalkboard sign proudly says, “We don’t have WiFi” Get out Ben! Those biscuits and gravy aren’t worth the data overage fees!

It’s time to catch his parents up on what’s been going on. He recaps the six remaining women for them: Becca, JoJo, Emily (Twin only), Lauren (no B necessary since she’s the last one), Caila, and Amanda.

The women wait on a quaint lakeside dock for Ben to pull up in a boat. I think Ben has given up helicopters for boats as his primary move. Locomotion isn’t as romantic as you think it is, Ben.

Ben is excited to have time with all the girls in his hometown, but picks Lauren B to go on a 1-on-1 with him first. That means a lot since this is where he grew up. And the other women know it. JoJo in particular feels her guard going up, but knows she needs to remain open to her relationship with Ben.

On the 1-on-1: Ben drives Lauren by his old high school, church, and the hotel that used to be a movie theater where he had his first kiss. My first kiss was on the playground in Kindergarten because I'm smooth like that. My Juicebox brought all the girls to the yard. Lost the magic sometime around middle school though.

Back at the House: The other girls talk about how they’ll feel about introducing Ben to their family because the hometown visits are coming up next week. That’s where the final four women take Ben back to their hometown. Amanda is worried about introducing him to her kids. I know if my mom had brought her TV boyfriend home to meet me I’d be like, “Hi ER-era George Clooney, are you my new dad?”

Back on the 1-on-1: Ben brings Lauren to the Bakers Youth Center where he used to work helping kids. There’s a ton of kids inside playing basketball—because Indiana. Lauren has to play with the kids. She handles it well. Ben gets pulled into a half court shot competition with Ronnie “The half court king” and Ronnie drains it like Steph Curry. Ronnie must have a bidet.

That was awesome. This is pretty heart-warming.@BachelorABC #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/JHO1NttJsX
— Good Morning America (@GMA) February 16, 2016

Ben surprises the kids by bringing in Paul George, George Hill, and Boomer the mascot from the Indiana Pacers. What follows is ten dunkless minutes. Why the fuck would you bring Paul George in if you ain’t gonna have him dunk on your date? Probably because he doesn't want this to happen again (don't watch if you have a weak stomach):

Ben sits with a crying boy named Eric. He helps Eric get involved. Lauren is impressed with his future fathering skills. Picture of Lauren’s ovaries:

Back at the house: the next Date Card arrives. It’s another 1-on-1 and JoJo gets it. “Let’s find love in the windy city,” the card says. How close is Warsaw to Chicago? It’s anywhere from two-three hours, depending on traffic. I google mapsed it. Maps is a verb, fuck yourself.

Back to Lauren’s 1-on-1: Lauren wants to talk about the drama from last week and put that shit to bed. Remember Leah’s machiavellian lies about Lauren last week? Ben was concerned about what he heard because he didn’t want to be blindsided since his feelings are growing for Lauren. But after today he trusts her. Lauren feels a weight lifted off her shoulders, but she must not be thinking of how vast, absurd, and unlikely the cosmos is.

Ben takes Lauren to his local dive Bar to drink with his friends. That’s a true sign of trust. Lauren tells the camera, in a revelatory moment, that she’s in love with Ben. She’s in the lead for winner if you ask me. Which you shouldn’t. Honestly you shouldn’t even be reading this. What are you doing? Read a book, draw a picture, call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time.

The next day, JoJo’s 1-on-1: A car drives her to meet Ben in Chicago. That’s a fucking long drive for a date. Two to three hours remember? I hope the car had a portable DVD player. People still watch DVD’s, right?

Ben takes JoJo to Wrigley Field. Ben is a huge Cubs fan, which explains why he thinks he’ll find love on this show—he’s used to futile efforts. That’s a joke about how the Cubs will never win the World Series again. Anyway, they find some Cubs jerseys that say Mr. and Mrs. Higgins. They hit some balls, then cuddle in the grass in the outfield. It starts raining on them, so they go inside the scoreboard and Ben spells "JoJo & Ben" with the letters. He tells us JoJo likes the things about him that are the most “him.” Nothing is more “Ben” than saying dumb shit like that.

Back at the House: Date card 3 comes. It’s a group date for Caila, Amanda, Becca. That means Emily is getting a 1-on-1. She’s so happy, but I don’t think it’s going to end well, since Emily’s occupation is still listed as “twin.”

JoJo’s 1-on-1: We’re still at Wrigley Field, because that shit is expensive so they’re gonna fuckin’ eat dinner here. There’s a table and chairs set up in the outfield. Ben is worried about JoJo’s insecurity with their relationship. When she’s scared she pulls away instead of leaning into Ben, and that makes him wonder what’s going on. But think about it Ben, it’s not like she can depend on you being there, you have five other women you’re dating. That’s the whole problem.

JoJo needs to feel safe in order to give herself to someone completely. It’s not because of Ben, it’s about her past. She’s given herself 150% too many times and it’s never worked out. Ben relates, because he’s scared about asking someone to marry him at the end of this. She asks him not to doubt her. She’s not scared anymore. She lets herself fall in love with him. She’s more #TeamBen than she’s ever been.

The next day it’s the Group Date. Caila, Becca, and Amanda pull up in a limo to farm, which is something that usually only happens when a fat-cat banker comes to foreclose on a farmer after too many bad harvests. No rain, no crops. Climate Change is real.

They all take rowboats out on a lake. Ben and Caila in one boat, Becca and Amanda in the other. Later they fly kites. Then they go into a barn to chat. It’s all awful and awkward. Ben explains: There’s a date rose on this date (unlike the 1-on-1’s earlier). Whoever gets this rose gets to stay for next week. That means Ben will go meet their family. Also whoever gets the rose gets to stay on the date while the other two women go back to the house. He takes some time to talk with all three of them before choosing who gets it.

Ben pulls Amanda aside first. They talk about her kids. That’s all they ever talk about.

Becca is next. She vents to Ben that she hasn’t had any special moments with him. She likes Ben so much, but feels she deserves someone who wants to be with her. She asks him not to blindside her if he’s going to let her go. I wouldn’t Blindside anyone ever, that movie was awful. Though, If I’m being fair, it wasn’t as bad as that joke.

Caila is up last. She's worried to take Ben home next week, because Ben has deep roots and Caila doesn’t really have that. She moved 17 times before she went to college, so all she has is her parents. So she’s worried that it would be a let down for Ben. If where you grew up mattered in a relationship, my wife wouldn’t have married me because I’m from Forest Grove, OR (home of the world’s tallest barber pole, by the way).

Date Rose: Ben gives it to Amanda because he wants her to feel confident that he wants to meet her family. It’s the "kids" thing. Makes sense. Becca and Caila are both bummed. Especially Becca because she hasn’t had that closeness. She feels like she hasn’t gotten anything back from him, and doesn’t know what else she needs to do. They go back to the house.

Stealing a page out of my date book, Ben takes Amanda to McDonalds. Because hometown dates are about doing what’s normal to you, and going to McDonald’s is normal to Ben. I wonder how much McDonald’s paid for this segment. They order a bunch of stuff. Did you know you can order breakfast whenever you want now? DID YOU? Ben orders breakfast whenever he wants. Be like Ben. I’m Lovin’ It. Ben and Amanda go behind the counter to take some drive thru orders. Laugh if you want, but this is 100% gonna get Ben laid.

Then Ben surprises Amanda by taking her out to the streets where the town has set up a carnival. They play games and ride rides. Ben says that the rides scare him, because they get set up in a day. By that logic he should be afraid to marry one of these women because the relationship got set up in a few weeks.

The next day, Emily’s 1-on-1: Ben and Emily are on a boat out on the lake. Emily doesn’t know what swans are. This date is basically Ben testing Emily out, because up until now she’s only been defined by the fact that she’s a twin. Her date card said “Home is where the heart is.”

Ben brings her to his childhood home. Ben calls in his parents. Emily goes off with Ben’s mom for a chat. That’s when Emily kicks into immediate chatterbox overdrive. She just won’t. shut. up. She goes on and on about how she’s young and she’s finding herself and she always wanted to get married young and have babies and her dream is to be an NFL cheerleader. After that Ben’s mom tells him that she has doubts that Emily would be a good fit for him, because Emily is so young and really doesn’t know who she is yet.

Emily comes away from the experience thinking she’s ahead of the game because she’s the one girl who got to meet Ben’s parents. But it’s not looking good for her. Ben takes her back across the lake on the boat. He sits her down on a bench to chat about the date. The other women are watching them from the window. Ben tells her that he doesn’t think he can see her as his wife. Emily goes inside the house to say goodbye and get her things. But that isn’t the last we’ve seen of Emily or her twin sister, Haley. You can BET that they’ll be on Bachelor in Paradise later this year.

THE ROSE CEREMONY: Five women left, after this we’ll be down to the final four. Ben sits on the church steps, unsure of who he’s going to send home. Chris Harrison joins him to talk it over. But this is fucking dumb because Becca is going home. I’m calling it.

Three Roses: Lauren gets one… JoJo gets one… it’s down to Caila and Becca…

Caila gets the last rose. Of course. I told you Becca was out. Blindsided. Ben walks Becca out. She asks him why he did that. He did the one thing she asked him not to do. Ben said it was better to do it now than after meeting her family. She agrees.

As Becca leaves in the limo she asks herself why she keeps doing this to herself. I don’t know—why would a 26-year-old virgin look for a boyfriend by going on the Bachelor twice? It couldn’t be because she doesn’t have a realistic grasp of what love and relationships are, could it? Becca seems nice, but she needs to get her life together. Maybe take a trip through India or Thailand, do some meditation.

Next Time: Hometowns! Ben meets the families of the final four women. Amanda’s kids will be a big responsibility. Lauren’s sister is worried that Lauren is falling too fast. JoJo’s brothers are way over protective to the point of confronting Ben and making JoJo cry!