Portland, The City that Works?

This city has a huge pothole problem, and I don't see much of anything being done to rectify it. Sure, I'm aware of the recent snow storm damage, but what about the damage and danger the potholes pose to the automobiles and cyclists? Something must be done, I've been told "City of Portland is the City that Works" NOT!!!

A Million Dead-End Streets

I'm sitting in my neighborhood coffee shop, contemplating the half hearted "third wave coffee"/wood panel redesign that never really took, thinking back to 15 years ago when the Pacific North West pulled us in like a magnet. We would leave our dumpy, broken cities. Recreate ourselves from whole cloth. Dance, move among, possibly become, artists. Take lovers. Take risks. Sometimes we're take both. Engage with life.

And I did.

Now friends have moved. Enemies too. Those of us left retreat into our relationships, work to make rent (or if we're luck, mortgages), drink and drug less, are careful with our aging bodies, and tip-toe through the emotional minefields we've laid in the past decade to get here. We bite our tongues when we see "those damn millennials" making the same mistakes we did, because we wouldn't have anyone rob us of our own. Who's changed more Portland — you or us? How can anyone tell?

Didn't Mean to Startle You

To the guy in the white van whose mirror I bumped,

You were waiting in a long line of cars at a stop sign and I snuck by on the right. In the process, I bumped your side view mirror with my shoulder. Since I was in a huge hurry and knew I didn't do any damage, I kept going. Sorry if I made you mad. I promise it wasn't intentional, just a tighter squeeze than I thought. I can only hope you don't add it to a pile of things that you'll hold against all cyclists forever.

Yours truly,
Asshole Cyclist

Family Values, My Ass!

Oh man, how I am relishing in reading the news of Milo Yappy-Trollius' fall from alt-right grace. I just love it! He's the favorite big league troll of the al-right and his career is quickly being decimated by comments he made making an argument for pedophilia. Of course, his blind followers are supporting him, calling the reports "fake news" even though THERE'S A VIDEO OF MILO POOPY-OPULUS SAYING THESE THINGS.

I've said it a million times and I'll say it again: The right-wing are the most foul-mouthed, bigoted and sexual deviant group of people out there. Seriously, just Google "Republican politicians, sex crimes" and the list is yuge!

Rich old guy admitting to sexual assaulting women? Let's make him president!
Online right-wing troll supporting pedophilia? Let's start a movement to defend him!

If you're a Republican, you can literally do no wrong in the eyes of your followers. They'll defend your perversion/sickness to the death, all the while wrapping themselves in the flag and preaching "family values."

Milo is a sicko troll who made his money wallowing in the gutter spewing hate, filth and bigotry. He's already lost a book deal, got his speech canceled at some whacked-out right-wing conference and might even lose his gig at Breitbart... I say he deserves all of it.

Any right-wingers out there want to defend this pedophile troll?

"What's in Those Cargo Trains?"

Visiting a local news website this morning I read this header. It's a brief posting, proposing the question of hazardous materials in cargo trains passing by homes without community members knowing the wiser. Of course, it wasn't a real article, rather a mention to instigate interest in the special report tonight.

It's a touchy subject, one that I can, I think, view objectively from both sides. On one hand, If I own a home or occupy a dwelling close to a rail line and I'm at risk in the event of a derailment or accidental release, then I should be informed. On the other hand, most people who don't have specialized training or backgrounds won't even understand the implied hazard, and will likely blow it out of proportion. So where is the balance?

Here is my only suggestion. We are alarmist by nature. It is important to educate ourselves. You can visit the local Rail line websites and they provide a snapshot of the materials moved in your community. They also provide phone numbers for you to call in case the information they provide isn't enough. You should understand the implied risk when you choose to live near rail, since rail-freight of hazardous materials has been an industry standard protected by law, likely longer that you have been alive. According to the BNSF website, hazardous materials only account for 0.3 % of all items shipped across rail. Similarly, the Union Pacific website provides community information regarding "common carrier obligation" (IE: rail is NOT allowed to turn down hazmat shipment like trucking and barge and air can) and provides emergency phone numbers in case something seems wrong.

Just another example of us trying to vilify industry for the commodities we use daily.

I Wonder About the President

I am wondering which person will tell our President, maybe he needs to step aside. I guess Mike Pence would take over.
If the elections were not valid maybe we will have another election. I think the President is be holding to Putin. The President should not be so close to Putin.

If it were not for the press, we could see another Hitler in our ranks.

Thong Gone

You took it harder than I expected when I told you I would no longer be selling you my dirty panties. You asked why I "left" you...Honey, because I could. I had been waiting for my divorce settlement to fund, and I was, let's say, not at the top of my game when I answered your "shmegslist" ad offering cash for worn panties. This was not, as you perceived, a romantic match made in heaven. My life sucked (all my fault)/ I was broke, addicted, desperate and had exhausted all my creative ways to renumurate...nothing left to hawk, and not YET desperate enough to hit the stro, I answered your ad.We met at a park. Panties in a bag, you pulled up and rolled down your window, Our eyes met as I handed you the bag. You smiled, and I said, "where's my money?" You handed me fifty bucks and drove off. This became our weekly or bi weekly ritual and we stayed together for a year my
My alimony put me just high enough on food chain to afford the luxury not having to rely on your generosity. Buy Bye

Hey Portlanders with 4 wheels - You Suck

Yes. This is a gripe about Portland drivers, why? Because you all suck hard. I'm including you transplants and I wouldn't dare forget you shitty Washingtonians that drive over the river: don't feel left out, you suck butthole too. Problem One: Did you know that Oregonians don't have to take drivers ed? No more wondering why everyone on the road pulls moves that make you rage to Hulk proportions. Some would say you can't be mad at them for not getting an education, yet it makes no fucking sense to give teenagers a weapon with a few buffoon parents driving them around for 250 hours or whatever the fuck the number is that they all lie about when getting their license after failing the exam 7 times at age 18. Problem number Two: Entitlement. Since the last long snow fall I have watched drivers decide that when a light turns red that does not mean that you can't still go through the intersection, and not just that last left turner, but more like 3-5 cars going through a red. WHAT THE FUCK?! Sesame Street teaches kids about red lights. What gives you the AOK to continue through one in your SUV!? The blatant disregard for red lights in this town lately has unnervingly grown to the point that it is rare and surprising to NOT see people blow through a red at an intersection. I'm sorry you are dumb as rocks and too entitled to think traffic signals apply to you, but despite my rage- PLEASE be CAREFUL. And if you are teaching a Teen to drive right now- teach them to look both ways EVEN THOUGH it's a green light. Maybe they can do better than your jackass on the road today. - The Safety Bitch.

Memo to Fellow Trump Supporters:

"Sloppy executive orders, vicious infighting among his aides, combative calls with foreign allies, apparent ethics violations and a pile-up of evidence that Trump’s team has extensive ties with Russia that may have aided his victory, as well as the ouster of national security adviser Michael Flynn." -FAKE NEWS!

Remember my fellow Trump supporters: Anything that is the slightest bit critical of the President is fake news. Everything the president says/tweets/yells is true, regardless of facts, data or evidence.

Hold strong my fellow sheep! Remain blind in our following! Do not ask questions of the president, offer no pushback! This America will be great again as long as we line up single file and follow our president into the brink!

God Bless TRUMP!!!

Harvest Time

The mind of the simpleton was ready to be plowed. Fertile ground for the sowing of right-wing conspiracy theories. Alternative facts and extremism. The right-wing media noise machine acted with extreme precision, feeding the fools with hatred and fear. Decades of fueling the poorly educated with misinformation, lies and propaganda. The right-wing noise machine hit its target with the rise of Donald Trump.

Unquestioning in their ways, unthinking in their thought process and unrelenting in their simpleminded hatred, they joined forces to elect a carnival barker who wanders the halls of the White House like a toddler seeking a warm ba-ba. The foolish sheep continue to defend the actions, lies and fact-less statements of their Dear Leader. They call out the media as "fake news," yet continue to consume every baseless tweet their Dear Leader sends. No questions asked, no push-back, just blind following.

They've been fed trough after trough of rancid shit and they no longer know what's right or wrong. They are unthinking followers of an authoritarian figurehead. They do as they are told. They think what they are commanded to think. They believe what Dear Leader believes. They're so brainwashed that they actually relish in this alternative reality.

It's also really funny to read their online comments attempting to defend the Dear Leader. I just want to pat them on their heads and say, "Aww, isn't that cute? Little Stanley just pulled shit out of his pants and ate it. Would you look at his shit-covered smile... he looks like a little Donald Trump!"


What he asks:”Would you like to make love with me?”

What she says:” I really like you and I think that’s a very special thing between two people and it’s nice to be asked so to think that connection is there and we could have something special. I want to be sure that it’s important to you and not just physical attraction because I am attracted to you and I think you are to me also. I want to make sure you know I think you’re special and it’s a special moment and I think you’re wonderful and I hope you think the same about me and I think about you and hope you think special things about me…”

What he hears: Blah blah bark uh uh bark bark blah barkbarkbark uh uh blah blabblab blah uh nuh hhhuh uh uh ummm ummm bark blahblabhh blah bark blab blah blah uh uh um bark bark blab Blah blah bark uh uh bark bark Is that a yes? blah barkbarkbark uh uh blah blabblab blah uh nuh hhhuh uh uh ummm ummm bark blahblabhh blah bark blab blah blah uh uh um bark bark blab Is that a no?

Non-Violent Response to Texting While Driving (3)


He's understood you. He hasn't blamed you. Together, he and you
have investigated and expressed your motivations in terms of
feelings relating to your (universal) needs being met. And so,
are you willing to hear what is alive in him? In him expressing
his feelings and needs?

You feel understood. You were meeting one of these universal,
fundamental needs by using a handheld device while driving. You
have received empathy. You have been understood.

And so.


When I was driving and saw that you were driving around me while
interacting with your handheld device, I felt frightened because
my needs for safety were not being met.

Following Marshall's lead I might say that "It would make life
more wonderful for me if you would put away the devices until
you were parked."


Non-Violent Response to Texting While Driving (2)


Marshall might say "I hear you saying that using your handheld
device while driving is one of the ways you meet your needs for
contributing to the well-being of your family." (for instance)

If you said he was wrong, he would generally try again. He might
guess a few times, or encourage you to try to express the need
being met in your own words. Let's assume he was right and that
the need being met was that you were contributing to the well-
being of your family. For Marshall, that might've included
taking notice of the stress you felt about the situation, etc.)

This is all called empathy. He made sure to understand your
feelings, and his genius was in helping you understand your own
feelings in terms of fundamental needs you have (and that we all
have) that were or were not being met.

You feel understood. You were meeting one of these universal,
fundamental needs by using a handheld device while driving. You
have received empathy. You have been understood.

So far, so good.

He used a curious terminology. He said that when you were able
to talk about these things in terms of your "needs" and your
"feelings", that you were talking about "what was alive in you".

When it seems clear he really understood you, he might ask if
you were ready to hear what was "alive" in him.

As you can imagine, this process might take a while, but on the
other hand you might really be ready to hear what he might say,
especially because he keeps up with the discipline of not using
blaming or judgmental language.

Non-Violent Response to Texting While Driving* (1)

Okay. I will try to do this using my understanding of the
techniques of Non-Violent Communication (NVC), as described by
Marshall Rosenberg.

I can start by giving you empathy.

In your particular case, I might be wrong, but I am guessing
that you are using your handheld device while driving, as a way
of meeting your needs, either for connecting to others, or for
making a contribution, or maybe as a source for comfort.

If he were still alive, and we could bring him into the
conversation, he might encourage you to say what particular need
that was being met by using your handheld device while driving.
He had a way of gently shifting people to keep trying to answer
him in the form of needs-being-met.

It is so simple in a way. He wasn't interested in finding blame.
As a first step, he wanted to help you understand the needs that
you were wanting to satisfy, and to be able to express them
simply. This can be surprisingly difficult, but let's assume
we've done this, and you've been able to express which needs
were being met by using your handheld device while driving.

[One reason that this is difficult is because no matter how
scrupulously he might have expressed his question about your
needs, it is difficult for any of us to not hear "blame" even if
there is nothing blame-like about it. He says we have been
trained in a language of judgment, and this leads us to make
tragic errors in the strategies we use to meet our needs.]

(Continued in #2)


* Also includes mobile phone conversations and the time waiting at stoplights.

This Time it's Personal

Remember when the mom from Jaws made the bad decisions of making Jaws 4? It was a horrible movie, pure shit, nothing like the masterpiece that was Jaws 3-D. But that line, about it being personal, so perfect because this time, this time it's personal you fucking bloody piece of fucking shit. How many fucking time do I have to show you how to do your fucking job shit stain!? Of fucking couse I threw your sad, fat ass under the fucking bus, AGAIN. You fucking failed. AGAIN. Ya dumb fuckstick. Of COURSE I cc'd everyone and their fucking mom on that email. There ain't no fucking way I'ma let you finish this time, you fake and we all fucking know it. Not my problem YOU just cost the company tens of thousands. Not be problem no one took over the task YOU had me removed from. Suck a dick. Enjoy it under the bus, and I will continue to rise afuckbove because yet again... I'm right. You're wrong. And I got the fucking receipts to prove it.

**sips a Narragansett**