What Do You Need?

So much is happening with the homeless situation in Portland from major confusion to those who want to help in some big or small way. I am not a homeowner, and have accumulated things to giveaway. The thrift stores are my guilty pleasure, and my tiny apartment is getting ready for a purge.

I bought a tent 2 years ago, and it is needing a new home. So wherever and whenever the city comes up with sufficient shelter to meet the needs of the homeless, please tell us what you need from donations, where you have a drop off station and what kind of volunteers you need. I think it is time is to address for real, the neighborhoods that have seen so many unsafe situations because of how the poor exist where they are not welcome. Many are watching our city to see how we get this situation under control. These people need help,volunteers,food, and decent safe housing. Please help by telling me how to help. City fathers, get it together and tell us what is needed to move these people to better housing. It starts with you, so find some decent housing for the poor.

Suby STI Dave- Did it Pass the DEQ?

Thanks for making the line at the NE DEQ go a lot faster today. I should have waited to see if you passed, and if you wanted to talk some more. If you'd like to talk Subarus, or check out the area with me, go to the Missed Encounters on Craig's List and drop me a line.

WRX Kelly

Look Love

I'm getting to a point where I'm wanting to meet someone and be in a relationship. I don't really want to date though. I just want to find the one. You know, the hopeless romantic situation. I don't really try. Not on any websites, and in a daily grind, I don't see it possible to meet anyone. I want head over heels love, sex, support, understanding, teamwork, and encouragement. Don't really care for marriage, money, or kids but if it came along... Lately, I haven't really been trying, but my eyes are open and looking. I could really fall in love everyday based on physical attraction. Combine that with someone that there seemed to be intellectual chemistry with, and boy, what a fool I become. Talk about my obsession kicking in for a week. Trying to stalk them on the internet for a week, and not being able to stop thinking about them. Or going to the bar on the night they work, just to see them, because dammit, we had a real connection last time. I know they felt it. Shamefully imagining holding them while we lay looking at the stars. Then weeks go by, and I say, what a fool I am. As if. Whatever. Like what would that beauty, out of my league person ever want to do with a wreck and mistake like me? Then again, Friday's coming up. I know who's working. I hope they haven't quit again then I'll never see them again.

We're not Bernie Bros—So Go to Hell!

I am especially frustrated with the DNC view that they "own" Bernie supporters. Many were independents, third party members and even republicans before Bernie ran. We took up "Bernie or bust" because we never did believe in any other candidates. So when they say that we are being ridiculous, or that we shouldn't vote for anyone BUT Hillary, what they are really saying is that they don't know who any of us are, never cared about us to begin with, and have no idea how to engage us now other than to claim us as property and bully us around. Also, the sexism & racism of only focusing on Bernie's white make supporters is disgusting.

Thank You For Not Running Over My Cat

Thank you for not running over my cat, whom I now regret encouraging to stalk a crow, that I now believe was intentionally trying to lead my cat into the road to be hit. Luckily I caught the perfect storm of your tire about to crush my poor cats skull in time, so I cried out, and you seemed to slow down, almost running over the crow, which I would of been fine with as it is obviously plotting against me and mine. My cat got scared, ran back into the yard, you looked over, and returned my thank you wave.

Thank you for paying attention at the wheel, and not checking your phone for that space of time.

P.S. To all vehicle drivers, cyclist included stop looking at your phone while driving said vehicle, it's super dumb, like your face.

$3-4 Decaf. What the Fuck...

I know decaf sucks and is probably poison, but why the hell can't we have a air-pot of the sewer sludge at the counter? Perhaps not all, but most coffee shops carry a variety of roast at the counter. Why not just add decaf? Why do I have to live through the shame of actually having the barista make a decaf americano? I assume the profits. Makes a hell of a difference to charge decaf drinker $3 plus for the shit opposed to $1.75 going rate of the pump your own. Goddamn gotcha capitalist. Oh, and if you want to make the argument "all we have is decaf espresso beans!" go fuck yourself, they are the same damn beans just a different grind.

Bird Feeding is a Mental Disorder

There was a recent post about crows creating a nuisance in a neighborhood and, as I expected, some avid bird feeders commented in such a predictable way. See, people who feed animals have the same mentality as one who hoards. They won't stop, no matter how their behavior affects the community in a negative way. In fact, like hoarders, they can't stop... it's a mental disorder.

Over the years, I've lived next to three avid bird feeders and all went bat-shit crazy when I confronted them about the nuisances they were creating. Two of the feeders created rat problems by putting out excessive food, but do you think they cared? Nope. One told me to "Fuck off!" and the other actually put out more food in retaliation. Seriously, these were people who I thought were friendly neighbors, but once I requested, and then demanded that they stop feeding birds, they all went fucking insane.

If you list the pros vs. cons over bird feeding, the cons certainly win. Take away the pro of "it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside" and there is no logical reason why a human needs to get wild animals dependent on them for food.

When it does create a nuisance to the surrounding area, whether it's an accumulation of bird shit, noise or attracting vermin, that's when a normal, mentally healthy, logical and unselfish person would usually stop. Sadly, most bird feeders are not normal, mentally healthy, logical or unselfish.

I thank my lucky stars I don't live next to one now.

Finally Someone Says What I Always Thought

this shutterstock bullshit etc- they think for one snapshot they can ask you for 30 dollar/euros for using their picture. soo ridicolous! Fuck them all! Remove their fucking watermarks with a programs and show it to them after it with a smile! They think they can take pictures "with a special way"- oh so poor.

Zit Poppin'

Stop leaving your zit poppings on the employee bathroom mirror or at the least, don't make it so oblivious who you are.
When you have those fresh lil welts with dried tips on your face, it totes you. We all know it. The post its left up (next to the booger wall stackers) hasn't seemed to worked.
Just stop before I bring it up at the next meeting and allow everyone to know who you are by looking at you.

You are Crazy Crow People!

To the lady who posted this in our neighborhood online forum:

"Two of my young crows from this year's flock were found dead side-by-side in my garden yesterday. No signs of mauling or having been shot. A third is looking lethargic, letting me get too close, not really hungry. I'm sad and worried."

... and to those who chimed in offering her support and concern: YOU ARE CRAZY CROW PEOPLE! Who would refer to these winged nightmares as 'my crows?' The same sort who would say 'my rats?' 'My ticks?' Who refers to 'this year's flock' as though they are a brood of prized Angora bunnies in the county fucking 4-H fair?

Crows are a menace! More than a few of us on a block just around the corner from you have been discussing this for weeks: how they keep us awake with their horrific cawing starting at 5 am, disrupt those of us trying to work from home all goddamn day long, swoop into our yards and frighten away hummingbirds and songbirds that are ACTUALLY WORTH HAVING AROUND, attack and kill other creatures. Crows have been shown to recognize the faces of humans who have wronged them, target them as enemies, and ATTACK. We pray that this awful fate does not befall you, as it did Tippi Hedren.

We really do support crows (#CawLivesMatter), but, like pigs, they belong in the country. If you are feeding them, as the tone of your missive suggests, please be considerate of your neighbors and STOP, for God's sake. (You better not be feeding the goddamn squirrels, either.)

Old 80s Rocker Houseless Guy on Glisan

You were strutting down the sidewalk about two days ago singing Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" out loud with a dont give a fuck attitude. Thanks for making my day. At first I thought you were yelling shit at me or some invisible person. Then the lyrics dawned on me. If you take requests I wouldn't mind hearing Whitesnake's "Here I go again." Keep on rockin.

Bernie and What He Knew

I guess many supporters of Bernie Sanders tried to show and tell why he wanted DWS removed. I am sorry he did not get very far, but his supporters are going to have plenty to say.

Bernie,you are the best, I hope Hilliary makes a place for you, with all this being proven.

Donald Trump, you need a reality check. We will vote for Hilliary, and you and Mr. Creepy Putin will lose.

Look at your keys!

What is it with everyone in this city and their fucking key rings?! Look at my keys on a ring on a clip on my hip. On my hip? Ah... Hipsters! Fucking A!!! Got it. Thanks shaggy.

Smart as Shit

Damn. Your smart as shit! I'm in line at the grocery store and I have 2 fucking things to buy. 2! I have my cash out and everything and I get behind you, the shortest line with the meanest bitch with a whole bunch of shit. Mrs. Smart-as-shit , you just look at me, my 2 things and picked up a magazine to browse instead of letting me go in front of you. That's some smart ass shit, because it allowed me to add a bunch of impulse items to the conveyer belt for you to buy.
Enjoy your chocolate chapsticks!

Let me finish Dumbshit

It sure takes a special dumbshit to sit at the front of the bus on the sideway seats and then constantly look at the back of the bus at the other dumbshits. What do you see dumbshit? Has the view changed in the past 10 seconds, dumbshit? It takes another old dumbshit to refuse to sit at the open seats at the front of the bus, so they can go sit at the back and barely make it up 2 stairs. It takes younger dumbshits to take those seats up front.

Hey dumdum dumbshit, your mystery flavor fucking lollipop sucks.