Well, We Tried to Go to Luke’s Diner

We really tried to get into “Luke’s Diner,” Netflix’s living advertisement for Gilmore Girls that opened at Oblique Coffee Roasters on SE Stark at 7 this morning and closed up shop at noon. Alas, it was not to be. BECAUSE THEY RAN OUT OF FREE COFFEE!* That was an obstacle not even the Mercury‘s resident Gilmore Girls fan club could overcome. For two hours, here’s what we had to contend with:

Perhaps it was unreasonable to expect a surprise appearance from the fictional diner owner, but it was still disappointing to discover that Oblique wasn’t a portal to Stars Hollow. Ideally, it would’ve been nice to experience some Gilmore Girls LARPing, with Luke yelling at us to drink decaf and eat healthier. Or at least a meet and greet with the actor who plays Luke, Scott Patterson. We would’ve even settled for Kirk.

As we waited in the cold, we came to two critical conclusions: (1) Luke would not approve of any of this, and (2) Lorelai and Rory would not have waited two hours for coffee. This is Portland! We don’t really need a Luke’s! There’s coffee everywhere!

Look, we’re still all going to watch A Year in the Life the day it’s available on Netflix, and it was heartwarming to see a city block full of millennial ladies and moms and daughters celebrating their affection for our beloved TV show, but is waiting two hours for a novelty coffee sleeve a productive use of one’s time? HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE.

Anyway, if you want to console yourself, there’s still time to take this important coffee poll.

*The owner of Oblique contacted the Mercury to clarify that Netflix gave them a cap on how much *free* coffee to give out, and they ran out very quickly due to a high volume of customers. You could technically still *purchase* coffee, but it didn’t come with any of the Luke’s-branded promotional stuff, which was what we had waited in line for.