[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
I leaned a little too hard on the work I did with my teacher to get through some of the hardest moments of my life. He said that he would also support me and that I could ask him for help if I needed it, but he never really followed through on his commitment. Not even for a conversation or to check in once in a while when I was obviously struggling.
After getting through the worst of it and finding some stability, he cut ties with me, saying that if he didn’t he would lose face among the people that really mattered to him. I’m offended and hurt and embarrassed. I think I saw all the signs that this guy was all talk and no action. I think I saw the character of the people he was closest with and assumed he was different.
When things get extra hard, when my communication fails with my family or stress short circuits my brain, I think about how few friends I have left. I think about that poorly worded petition I wrote about how I should just be allowed to go to prison for an indefinite term so that I wouldn’t have to work so hard to fit in with a world that didn’t want me. I should have given it to some of my teacher’s friends. Maybe they could have helped me edit it and give it to the right people.
When I’m feeling extra petty, I stalk them on social media hoping I get to see proof of how awful they are. Maybe I’ll get to see them mess up and lose something big like I did.
I hope I find a way to get over it all and move on. I shouldn’t let them have that much power over me and I have no room for that kind of behavior. I’ve already won by getting as far as I have. I’ve done something none of them could ever do and none of them think is possible.—Anonymous