DEAR MERCURY—Do we really need to explain this to you? Christina Ricci has a gigantic forehead because she's super intelligent and evil ["Christina Ricci's Forehead," I Love Television, Sept 22, in which Wm. Steven Humphrey ponders the actress' dome in anticipation of her new TV show, Pan Am]. Go watch This Island Earth over and over again until you get it!

-Robert Triptow


DEAR MERCURY JACKOFFS—You fucking idjits. For the past few weeks, your supposed arts coverage has inexplicably focused on some fat man from Brooklyn who yammers on about absolutely nothing for 24 hours straight ["24," Theater, Sept 22, in which author Erik Henriksen withstands a 24-hour Mike Daisey performance]. And yet, somehow the Oregon Symphony doesn't warrant one mention for their kickass classical season opener this past weekend? How you pig-eyed sacks of shit call yourselves a newspaper is completely beyond me.

 -Brian Horay, Angry Symphony Guy


DEAR MERCURY—[To the] anonymous writer of "Tolerating Intolerance" [Letters, Sept 15]. You are a hypocrite for condemning decent people's freedom of speech to protest Mars Hill [Church]'s hateful lies, while defending Mars Hill's supposedly more legitimate freedom of speech to tell these lies. You say we are "hating them more than they hate you," which is a lie and an insult to the horrors that gays and others have gone through because of evangelical meanness and lies, especially since our supposed "hate" only consists of truthfully telling them how much hurt they've really caused. You, anonymous, are a mean, stupid, hypocritical person with a bad priority of values.

-Tommy S.


For the record, Jefferson Smith lives east of 82nd Avenue and left behind a corporate legal career to work for peanuts as a nonprofit director ["Repping with the Working Class," Letters, Sept 22, regarding the Portland mayoral candidate]. [Charlie] Hales is soliciting big checks from national corporations. [Eileen] Brady receives donations from out-of-state special interest groups. Smith is a champion of the working class and only accepts contributions from local citizens.

-posted by insideportland


Whoa, I'm surprised Dan didn't advise that person to tell someone about it—the family or anyone ["Daddy Issues," Savage Love, Sept 22, in which a reader expresses concern at the discovery of her father's incest-fantasy porn]. I would get the fuck out of his life, never return or speak with him again, if I found that out. Why give him the benefit of the doubt? I bet that there were signs of odd behavior. Maybe the father abused the child when they were much younger. Maybe that's the reason why the parents divorced? The child's mother might have known this horrid fact about the father.

-posted by lookup

@lookup—Why give dad the benefit of the doubt ["Daddy Issues," Savage Love, Sept 22]? Because maybe you love your dad, he raised you, and he's never been anything but kind to you? Just because someone has a weird kink hidden in their computer doesn't mean anything, particularly if they have never acted on it. I am a vanilla-looking mom to two young kids. I'm friendly, kind, I volunteer with various charities, I work in a place that is dedicated to helping people. You say, "Dreaming about rape and sexual abuse" is "fucked." Well, welcome to my kink. I have porn like that in my browser history (all between adults, of course). I would never, EVER actually act on it; I mean, really, it is just a fantasy. I'm not some super-creep monster. Okay, I might have a few leather items hidden way back in the back of my closet. I sincerely hope that if one of my kids stumbled onto that stuff someday when they are adults, they wouldn't cut me out of their lives because of it.

-posted by bootness

SPEAKING OF sex positivity, the HUMP! amateur porn festival is coming right up! You still have time to submit your sexy/kinky/funny film—but not for much longer! Go to for the details, and get ready for your close-up. In the meantime, bootness gets two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater not just for her kinks, but for her kindness.