Anonymous

This morning, I woke up like any morning the last few months, under the overhang that provided my covered sleeping area. This particular morning that wake up was given to me by Portland’s finest, “cant sleep here, it has an overhang…”. Well, as soon as that was done I needed to do what most people […]

Hey Asscake driving a company car,I am not an expert on driving a company car, I never have before, but if I had the name of a business in very large letters all over my rig I would try to drive nicely, or at least legally. Every time you cut in front of someone, not […]

Your Jumps and Zen Karate moves are awesome, but since that you left me at the quickie-mart when you went for cigarettes and didn’t came back for a week, I had to do em on my own, and injured myself, and others. Nothing serious but the sleep shack of the Mart was really cool and […]

I know that I have VDVAV (Velocity Discapacity Variable Advantage Velocity), which means that I can learn one day very fast, and then not understand a word for two weeks. It`s a rare disease common in the far east, where the guys wear robes and have patience and go like lamp posts mmmmmmmmm for days. […]

Dear Josh Seater, Fuck you for peeing in our water supply. I’d say you should pay the bill for cleaning it up, but the $36,000 is probably three times more than your red-neck ass makes a year. Please go back to Molalla and don’t come back. Love, Portland Oregon

Listen, I understand that your pay-by-the-week hotel’s manager wasn’t giving you your mail, so you missed your recertification for your food stamps. I also understand that you have to feed your two illegitimate children. But use the money you make stripping on food for you and your children and quit eating all of mine. I’m […]

Dear John. Don’t call my phone every five minutes. I don’t want to talk to you…I never do. Our “special” relationship is based on one thing, and one thing only….money. When we spend our “quality” time together is when I am flat broke and out of crack…period. I would never socialize with you on any […]

I guess I am not handling the divorce as well as my ex, who initiated it. He moved on at a rate that makes the speed of light look like it took a couple fat bong rips and a handful of valium. A grip is far beyond my reach. I had to go to his […]

Hey Driver’s Ed Flunky, Thanks so much for showing me a new parking maneuver. As I found a much coveted spot in NW and pulled up to parallel into it after work, you managed to whip a U-turn in the middle of the road and nudge the nose of your now cock-eyed white VW hatchback […]

Dr. Mr. Shaff, You say that water is in abundance. In an economic recession, when both Federal and State programs are being cut, and when people are losing their jobs, is money itself so abundant that grandstanding politically motivated so-called “civil servants” can afford to flush $38,000 down a drain? I would expect that if […]

can somebody tell my why owning a fixed gear bicycle isn’t like riding a glorified big wheel? is that why you run every stop sign and go so slowly? am I missing something? I never had a big wheel, but it’s the same concept. and I don’t get why an adult would want to ride […]