Dan Savage

Any words of wisdom on girlfriends, boyfriends, and spouses who claim to be GGG, but systematically take away much of what they give by making it clear that they are not “into it” even as they fulfill their lovers’ fantasies? For years my wife has indulged me; however, she nearly always prefaces fetish sex play […]

What would you make of someone who intentionally leaves a pubic hair on your toilet seat every time he visits your home? This guy is ostensibly straight (married, even). I’m gay and my boyfriend and I have known him since college. Anyway, I initially thought the pubic hair thing was just a coincidence, but for […]

I hope this problem isn’t too boring: I adore my smart, affectionate, sexy husband—but he’s impotent. We don’t really need medical advice—we know why. (It started out physiological, side effects from anti-depressants, now it’s psychological.) He’s currently—and willingly—seeing a psychiatrist. I need some advice on how we can get back in the saddle. Direct discussions […]

I’m a 21-year-old straight guy with a boring, straight sex life. Until a few months ago when something terrifying happened. Back in May, I was contacted by somebody through Match.com. She claimed to be a grad student at my school, had a very attractive photo, and we began IMing. She talked about how she was […]

A friend of mine is setting up a website with some of her friends for feminist (mostly queer) porn. I’m straight, and she asked me if I wanted to be in it, with or without my boyfriend of two years. After clarifying that I wouldn’t be making porn with people I didn’t want to do […]

How can I tell if I’m asexual? Is it a legitimate orientation or am I just a seething ball of neuroses? Sex does nothing for me. I can’t orgasm (even when I attempt masturbation), so my husband doesn’t go there. That’s fine by me. I HATE my people-parts; I find them utterly icky. At any […]

I went to a friend’s wedding, a friend whom five years ago I would have called a “best friend.” I don’t know how to describe our friendship now because we don’t talk or see each other much. I was reacquainted with her ex-boyfriend (she dated him for three months three years ago) at her wedding […]

I’m a smoker who has decided it’s time to quit. But my boyfriend has a smoking fetish. He likes it when I smoke while we’re having sex; he likes to jerk off and watch me smoke; he likes me to smoke and give him oral sex at the same time. His porn collection is all […]

You so rarely answer questions of etiquette in your column, unlike so many of your advice-giving peers. Here’s one for you: I’ve been in a casual sexual relationship with this girl for about four months. (Two months ago we spoke, reaffirming that all either of us wanted was the casual sex.) I have grown weary […]

I have been seeing this great guy for about two years now. A few months back I stumbled upon some she-male photos on our computer. When I confronted him, he said that it was in response to a “nightmare” he had from watching HBO late at night or something. I asked him to be honest […]