Revisit the epic journeys of your youth with the iPhone’s Oregon
Trail.
Posted inMovies & TV
Geek Out
Let’s Go to Oregon!
Earnest "Nex" Cavalli
Posted inVideo Games
Dark Void: Everything That’s Good And Right About Rocket Packs
Congratulate me Blogtownians, Ol’ Nexy is in love. Everything is roses and puppies at La Casa De Nex, and I wanna share my glee with all of you. To that end, here’s a ton of new footage from Capcom’s Dark Void, an upcoming Xbox 360 and PS3 release that I personally describe as “a cross […]
Posted inVideo Games
Marvel Vs Capcom 2 Coming to Xbox 360, PS3
Videogames and comic books; They go together like chronic masturbation and Pizza Rolls. Never has this coupling been better realized than in Capcom’s classic arcade fighter Marvel Vs Capcom 2 — a 9-year-old game now scheduled for an updated re-release on the Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network this Summer. I won’t bore you with […]
Posted inVideo Games
No, I Don’t Care That It’s Off Topic
See that “Games” category notation up there? Let’s call that a theoretical. Normally this is where I’d be waxing metaphorical about how the current Electronic Arts lineup mirrors the works of Oscar Wilde, but today I’m taking a moment to pimp myself as hard as this blog will allow. If you’ve been stalking me you […]
Posted inVideo Games
Lego Rock Band Announced, Rock Band Teat Nearing Empty
Lego Rock Band is not just some bizarre fever dream you had. It’s for real, according to an official announcement made this morning. The game is being developed by TT Games (the folks who put together the awesome, if slightly redundant Lego Batman, Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones games) in association with Harmonix […]
Posted inVideo Games
Fallout: New Vegas Exists, Probably Has Mutants
This morning saw the announcement of Fallout: New Vegas. Though it’s not a sequel to Fallout 3, it is set in the same universe and is being developed by Obsidian Entertainment — a development house chock full of people who worked on the first two Fallout games. As the title implies, the game takes place […]
Posted inCrafty
This Is How Ganon Really Died
Arrow of Light? Naw. Master Sword to the face? Psh. Ganon was killed by “The Triforce,” a drink consisting of Goldschlager, dark rum and banana liqueur. Puking sparkles has never been more heroic.
Posted inVideo Games
Final Fantasy XIII: The Japanese Demo: The Video: The Five-Part Series
I’m convinced that everyone in Japan is made of plastic and LED lights. It’s unrelated to this post, but I thought I should mention it. The Blu-Ray version of fan-masturbation flick Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children hit Nipponese shores a few days back, carrying with it the first playable demo for the eternally “upcoming” Final […]
Posted inVideo Games
Patch Day!
I was a bit miffed this afternoon. Realizing it’s patch day and not having a post ready to celebrate the latest additions to Blizzard Entertainment’s virtual dopamine inhibitor World of Warcraft is like wandering into Ulduar decked out in a combination of first season Arena armor and Molten Core weaponry. Three of you giggled. Thank […]
Posted inVideo Games
Ground Kontrol Announces First Annual Pinbrawl Tournament
Do you hate Roger Daltrey as much as I do? Have you spent years patiently biding your time, consolidating your forces for a chance to disprove the central premise of Tommy — that autistic people have a vice-like grip on the world of competitive pinball, and any of us foolish enough to enter their world […]
Posted inVideo Games
BioShock 2 Gameplay Debut Video (Probably Not As Cool As My First Idea)
I currently have two holes in my stomach, a 3-inch-long oval, and a 5-inch-long incision. Each is held together by a few metal staples and sheer force of will. This post was originally going to be a high-resolution, 300 image set of a beautiful, pink-haired woman (whose eyes have that “sedated Stygian abyss” quality you […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Geek Out
Dear Vin Diesel….
Dear Mark Sinclair “Vin Diesel” Vincent— Mr. Vincent, it has recently come to the attention of my organization (hereafter referred to as “The Organization”) that you persist in attempts to fill the “action film star” niche vacated by Messrs. Schwarzenegger and Stallone the past few decades. We must insist that you halt all such attempts […]