Burn a bra for the latest addition to the enemy roster of BioShock 2: the Big Sister. Think: BioShock’s Big Brother, only with more estrogen, a handy carrying satchel for her Little Sister counterpart, and a pneumatic drill where her sparkly bangles would normally be. Sadly this image is about the extent of anyone’s knowledge […]
Earnest "Nex" Cavalli
Posted inVideo Games
Once Again, Stereotypical Fetish Saves Japan
I just finished writing The Merc’s Resident Evil 5 review, and it got me thinking about the cultural differences that define the way Americans and their Japanese brethren view hordes of shambling undead. Whereas Americans see resurrected corpses as either a thinly veiled dissection of the looming Communist threat or a good excuse to grow […]
Posted inVideo Games
‘In The End, Everybody Bleeds The Same.’
(Notice me not making a menstruation joke here. That’s right ladies, I’m totally sensitive to your gross vag blood.) The demo for Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena came to the various game download services this week. Vin Diesel may be quickly sliding into the angry obscurity of a Dolph Lundgren (one step above […]
Posted inVideo Games
Mini-Reviews: 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand, Killzone 2, Noby Noby Boy, Flower
It’s been a while since I’ve done a Mini-Review piece, and while I was away, things got seriously weird. In the recent past, the PlayStation 3 got a small handful of games to make Xbox 360 owners alternately jealous, confused and sorta want to make out with a tulip, and 50 Cent is somehow the […]
Posted inVideo Games
LittleBigContra: I Think I Just Peed A Little
Ladies, don’t take that headline as an admission of incontinence. I’ve got the bladder of a grizzly bear. But sometimes the ‘net just shocks me with something so damn awesome, so purely radical, that — like the majestic falcon — I piss all over myself. The theme music from Contra alone is generally enough to […]
Posted inEvents
Good News, Bad News: Video Games Live Coming to Portland
Good news: Video Games Live, the world’s premier fusion of video game music and fancy orchestral accompaniment is coming to the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Bad news: The show isn’t until November. Good news: The VGL folk have scheduled two shows to ensure that everyone has a chance to cry like a little girl with […]
Posted inEvents
Saturday! Street Fighter! Ground Kontrol! Nihilism?
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche once wrote “Some men are born posthumously.” Admittedly, it sounds better in the original German — or, at least, more like an angry demand — but I think you see what I’m getting at here: Street Fighter is awesome. Try to ignore the circuitous segue there, and instead focus on this Saturday’s […]
Posted inVideo Games
Killzone 2 Now On Sale (Apparently)
Sony didn’t send me an early copy of Killzone 2, so imagine my surprise when I walk into a store last night — 5 days prior to the Killzone 2 release — to see the game on sale. Since I have way too much free time, I thought I’d check another nearby store to see […]
Posted inVideo Games
Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost And Damned (And Some Dude’s Junk)
Hyper short review: The Lost and Damned — the first, Xbox 360-exclusive expansion for Grand Theft Auto IV — is scary violent, tells a subtle, gripping story, and features more cock than Oscar Wilde on a laudanum bender. (Skip ahead to the 4:00 mark of the above clip for today’s reminder that my gender looks […]
Posted inVideo Games
Man, Those Brits Do Sexism Right
Despite the inroads made by questionably motivated corporate entities and righteous chicks who abhor stereotypes, gaming is a male-centric pastime. Doubly so in Britain where all the women are too busy ironing and making delicious tea to bother with the complexities of things like Halo or Algebra. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Put down that burning bra […]
Posted inVideo Games
Whitest Kids U’Know Does Call of Duty
I’d warn you against the not safe for work swears in this clip from the Whitest Kids U’Know, but fuck dude, you’re reading Blogtown in the middle of the day — Either your job is awesome, or you’re living off foodstamps and PBR.