BEST FAKE FRIENDS Not exactly Portland’s greatest moment. I’d like to start this review by saying that I commend anyone who has the guts to create something, and put that thing out into the world for consumption and criticism by others. I mean, who am I? I’ve never written a movie! I just blather my […]
Elinor Jones
Elinor Jones writes the gossip column, THE TRASH REPORT, as well as movie reviews, and dinosaur stuff. She likes your lipstick.
Posted inMovies & TV
At the Very Least, Queen of Katwe Isn’t a Schmaltzy Embarrassment
QUEEN OF KATWE “Pawn to F3? That’s your opening move? Amateur.” There’s a not insignificant legacy of terrible movies about poor brown kids being taught out of poverty by godly white people like Sandra Bullock. Mira Nair’s Queen of Katwe isn’t one of those movies. The lack of a white savior spares this Disney family […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Sandra Bullock Is Not in Queen of Katwe
Reminder: Representation Matters
A Disney-sponsored reminder that representation matters.
Posted inMovies & TV
Best Fake Friends Is… Oh God, It’s So Horrible
Real Friends Are Honest
Real friends are honest.
Posted inMovies & TV
Renée Zellweger Rapping Is What 2016 Needs
Bridget Jones’ Baby opens with our supposedly frumpy heroine rapping to herself over a single cupcake. Another birthday gone, and, at 43, what has come of Bridget’s life? She’s single again, but killing it professionally as a TV news producer. Alas, all of her friends have kids, and she worries she’s missed her window for […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Bridget Jones’ Baby Is a Bright Light in the Apocalypse
Renée Zellweger Rapping Is What 2016 Needs.
Renée Zellweger rapping is what 2016 needs.
Posted inFeature
Pet? You Are NASTY!
Is Your Pet a Perv? Read and Find Out!
Is your pet a perv? Read this and find out!
Posted inMovies & TV
Captain Fantastic Cares Not for Your “Warm Showers” Or Your “iPhones” Or Your “Modern Civilized Society”
I have dreamt that it might be possible to raise my child in the woods, off the grid, to spare her this modern cultural hellscape filled with guns and Trumps. The fictitious Cash family, headed by Ben (Viggo Mortensen), gives us a taste of that life—good or bad, depending on how attached you are to […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Going Off the Grid with Captain Fantastic
Dislike Modern Life? So Does Aragorn!
Dislike modern life? So does Aragorn!
Posted inMovies & TV
Yo-Yo Ma Is One Solid Dude.
My exposure to Yo-Yo Ma was previously limited to an episode of The West Wing, after Josh got shot and was having PTSD, and Donna kept saying “Yo-Yo Ma rocks!” I thought that was dorky of Donna, but I thought it was cool that Yo-Yo Ma was on the show, and I liked the piece […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates: More Like Mike and Dave Can Treat Women Better Because It Is 2016
One thing that’s nice about 2016 is that there are some good-faith attempts to treat women like fully formed humans in film and on television. It’s a better time for representation, but it’s still not a great time. For example: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, in which chronically terrible brothers Mike (Adam Devine) and […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Fuck Mike and Dave
More Like Mike and Dave Can Treat Women Better Because It Is 2016
More like Mike and Dave Can Treat Women Better Because It Is 2016.