Mother’s Day is from the same people who punished us with New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day. It’s packaged as a thank-you card to moms, which makes me wonder: Good god, how much do Hollywood people hate their moms? Like those other holiday-based movies, Mother’s Day is a large ensemble “comedy” of intertwined stories surrounding […]
Elinor Jones
Elinor Jones writes the gossip column, THE TRASH REPORT, as well as movie reviews, and dinosaur stuff. She likes your lipstick.
Posted inMovies & TV
A Mom-to-Be Hates Mother’s Day
Hollywood to Mothers: Eat Shit! You’re Welcome!
Hollywood to mothers: Eat shit! You’re welcome!
Posted inFashion
RE: Nicki Minaj’s American Flag Leggings
I had never seen a Barbershop movie, and I’m not going to lie: I agreed to watch this one because Nicki Minaj is wearing American flag leggings on the poster. I am happy to report that (1) Nicki Minaj does wear those leggings in the movie and (2) this is a pretty decent movie! Here’s […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Barbershop: The Next Cut on Racism, Feuds, and Haircuts
And Also Nicki Minaj’s Leggings
And also Nicki Minaj’s leggings.
Posted inPizza Week
Pizza Week Preview: Amalfiโs โMini Mamaโ
Elinor Jones Not only is the Pizza Week slice at Fremont mainstay Amalfiโs delicious, itโs also not a slice at all. Itโs a freaking individual eight-inch pizza for only $2! You canโt even get some Plaid Pantry party pizzas for $2, and trust me, this is 10 billion times better. The Mini Mama consists of […]
Posted inMovies & TV
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2: Of Cash-Grab Sequels and Bossy Bitches
In this follow-up to an immensely popular film that hit on all of your basest emotions without ever being great, a dramatic family with a hellish past faces off with new and old foes before ultimately being put in line by a bossy lady with some badass tools. Did you think I was talking about […]
Posted inMovies & TV
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2: Because Money!
Of Cash-Grab Sequels and Bossy Bitches
Of cash-grab sequels and bossy bitches.
Posted inMovies & TV
Divergent: Precipitant? Matriculant? Am I Doing This Right?
The Divergent Series: Allegiant opens with a voiceover which attempts to explain what’s happened in the series so far so that fans are refreshed, and newcomers are caught up. This introduction may have been read by the Swedish Chef for all the good it does in clarifying this bizarre, convoluted universe. There’s something about Chicago […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Divergent: Allegiant: Accelerant: Reverberant?
Am I Doing This Right? I Don’t Understand Anything.
Am I don’t this right? I don’t understand anything
Posted inMovies & TV
How to Be Single Is Compelling Me to Write #squadgoals Even Though I Really Don’t Want To
HOW TO BE SINGLE Rebel Wilson: a hero, and an inspiration, to us all. How to Be Single opens with a voiceover about there being a right and wrong way to be single, which made me furrow my brow and go, “hrmmm.” Moments later, we meet our protagonist, Alice (Dakota Johnson), gazing out of a […]
Posted inFashion
Yes, Zoolander 2 Is Stupid, But So Are We ¯\_(ใ)_/¯
ZOOLANDER 2 Like a glitter bomb to the brainstem. I just watched Zoolander 2, and now I’m sitting here trying to write about it, and I can barely remember a thing. I remember laughing, so that’s a good sign. I’m not totally sure why I laughed, but also, I’m not sure that matters? Like, nobody […]
Posted inMovies & TV
How to Be Single (and How to Ambush My Feelings)
This Movie Is Compelling Me to Write #squadgoals Even Though I Really Don’t Want To
This movie is compelling me to write #squadgoals even though I really don’t want to.