Runner Runner: Central American underworlds should be more fun.
Posted inMovies & TV
Timberfleck Loses a Bet
Runner Runner: Central American Underworlds Should Be More Fun
Elinor Jones
Elinor Jones writes the gossip column, THE TRASH REPORT, as well as movie reviews, and dinosaur stuff. She likes your lipstick.
Posted inCats
Here’s What It’s Like Attending the Oregon Cats Classic
As Marjorie mentioned last week, the Oregon Cats Classic was happening in town over the weekend. In an inspired attempt to claw the cat-lady-in-chief reins from Alison Hallett, I pointed and yelled something about Cheryl Strayed, and while she was distracted, I swiped her beat. And it. Was. Glorious. Dr. Augustus Catterson, PhD, Esq., DDS, […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Would You Like To Read About Some YA Fanfic Drama? Too Bad, I Wrote About It!
THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES “Hey girl, check out my new night light.” My review of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is out this week. To summarize: it’s a terrible movie that is based on a terrible book series by Cassandra Clare, and this terrible book series might have been originally written as […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Bad Romance
This Is What a Fanfic Movie Looks Like
Mortal Instruments: Maybe fanfic shouldn’t be made into movies.
Posted inMovies & TV
Return of the Lohan
LiLo is the Best Thing About The Canyons!
LiLo is the best thing about The Canyons!
Posted inMovies & TV
Get It, Girls
1993: A Good Year for Blowjobs!
The To Do List reminds you that 1993 was a good year for blowjobs.
Posted inMovies & TV
C.R.A.P.D.
Because I Am an Idiot, I Saw R.I.P.D.
Because I am an idiot, I saw R.I.P.D.
Posted inMovies & TV
Just a Shot Away
Backup Singers Take the Stage in 20 Feet from Stardom
Backup singers take the stage in 20 Feet from Stardom
Posted inFashion
Portland’s Next Top Dog Model!
With these ridiculous Mercury staffers focused on making each other miserable with the Worst Night Ever series, I quietly snagged the gig of a fucking lifetime: covering the Oregon Humane Society Top Dog Model Finale. That’s right. MODELING. DOGS. DOG MODELS! Here is one of them: Gomer the St. Bernard. “Woof woof woof, I’m a […]
Posted inComedy
Weezing the Dairy: The Pauly Shore Interview
I am a huge Pauly Shore fan from way back when, and have historically been in his corner. I saw Biodome in the theater. I call people stony crusty dudes. I weezed the juice (or not—more on that later). I was really excited for this interview! But Pauly Shore, it turns out, was not. Once […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Heists Are Cool, Right?
This Is How Now You See Me Got Made
This is how Now You See Me got made.
