Elinor Jones, Author at Portland Mercury

Movies & TV

Florida Ruins Everything

Arthur Newman Is Boring, Lives in Florida

Elinor JonesApril 24, 2013 4:00 amJuly 12, 2022 7:50 pm

Arthur Newman is boring and lives in Florida.

Movies & TV

Hold Onto Your Butts! It’s Jurassic Park 3D!

Elinor JonesApril 5, 2013 9:44 amJuly 12, 2022 8:50 pm

This is me right now: 😀 Ahem. Here we go. So we’re old, and it’s been 20 years since the game-changing Jurassic Park came out. I bet that since that time, you, like me, got obsessed, got it on VHS, watched it too many times, eventually gave the VHS to Goodwill, then maybe found an […]

Movies & TV

Accents and Emotions

British Advertising Does Not Fuck Around

Elinor JonesFebruary 27, 2013 4:00 amJuly 12, 2022 7:49 pm

British advertising does not fuck around.

Movies & TV

Bizarro Hermione

Beautiful Creatures Is the Best Twilight Yet!

Elinor JonesFebruary 13, 2013 4:00 amJuly 12, 2022 7:49 pm

Beautiful Creatures is the best Twilight yet!

Movies & TV

More Like Lame Haven! Right?!

Not Even Wet Clothes Can Save Safe Haven

Elinor JonesFebruary 13, 2013 4:00 amJuly 12, 2022 7:49 pm

Not even wet clothes can save Safe Haven.

Movies & TV

Hi Grandma!

I Saw a Movie I Think You Would Like!

Elinor JonesJanuary 23, 2013 4:00 amJuly 12, 2022 7:49 pm

Quartet: The film about old people that Michael Haneke doesn’t want you to see.

Movies & TV

Buoy Meets World

Sorry for the Terrible Headline!

Elinor JonesNovember 28, 2012 4:00 amJuly 12, 2022 7:48 pm

Buoy: a brother and a sister talk. A lot.

I Was ALMOST the Next Contestant on The Price is Right!

Elinor JonesNovember 27, 2012 9:59 amJuly 12, 2022 8:48 pm

I scheduled a last-minute trip to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving. My brother’s girlfriend asked if I wanted to try to catch a TV taping while I was here, and of course, I said yes. I figured we’d end up at The Talk, or something equally crappy. She sheepishly emailed to say that the only thing […]

It’s the Liz & Dick Live Blog!

Elinor JonesNovember 25, 2012 8:32 pmJuly 12, 2022 8:48 pm

Hi everybody! It’s me, Joneser, and this is a live-blog of the television event of the century. Borrow some jewelry, do a quick hit and run, and let’s get exhausted; there’s about to be a lot of Lizzing and Dicking in here. White diamond. It’s all happening right below the jump! 8:50 HI. I’M EXCITED. […]