This week’s question: What are your Valentine’s Day plans?
Posted inNew Column!
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade
This Week’s Question: What Are Your Valentine’s Day Plans?
Frank Cassano
Since 2000, Frank Cassano has authored “Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade,” the only worthwhile thing in the Portland Mercury. His interests include fuck you.
Posted inComedy
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade: “What Are Your New Year’s Resolutions?”
My resolution is simple: self-care! Last year was so difficult, and I really need to take better care of myself. —Justine Waterson, Pearl District Yes, by all means—take better care of yourself. After all, that’s the one thing privileged fuckwits like you are sooo bad at! I suppose self-care includes writing hate-filled op-eds for the […]
Posted inComedy
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade: “What Are Your New Year’s Resolutions?”
My resolution is simple: self-care! Last year was so difficult, and I really need to take better care of myself. —Justine Waterson, Pearl District Yes, by all means—take better care of yourself. After all, that’s the one thing privileged fuckwits like you are sooo bad at! I suppose self-care includes writing hate-filled op-eds for the […]
Posted inScience!
Frank Cassano Asks, “What Are You Doing for the Solar Eclipse?”
Thinking ahead, I booked an eight-bedroom cabin in wine country so my family would have the very best view of the eclipse. And we’ve been hoarding a rare bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild just for the occasion! —Janet Bessinger, Pearl District Congratulations on being another oblivious, overprivileged white person, you entitled sack of liver spots! […]
Posted inComedy
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade: “What Are You Doing for the Solar Eclipse?”
Frank Cassano asks, “What are you doing for the solar eclipse?”
Posted inComedy
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade: How Do You Beat the Heat?
THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: HOW DO YOU BEAT THE HEAT? My secret? Going to the movies! Partly for the movie… but mostly for the air conditioning! Haha! This weekend: Spider-Man! —Kristy Denby, project manager, Southeast Portland Just so we’re crystal fucking clear, you natural-born shitwit: So you cram yourself inside a 100-degree car, sit in gridlock […]
Posted inNew Column!
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade
How Do You Beat the Heat?
This week’s question: How do you beat the heat?
Posted inComedy
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade Asks, “What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?”
This Week’s Question: “What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?” “To make sure 2017 is better than 2016, I hereby resolve to treat the universe more kindly, to walk upon Mother Earth with an open heart, to embrace my enemies and celebrate my friends, and to seek out the hidden wonders of everyday life.”—Gary Barker,SE Portland OH, […]
Posted inComedy
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade: “What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?” (Uh-Oh.)
Frank Cassano asks, “What’s Your New Year’s resolution?” (Uh-oh.)
Posted inPolitics
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade
Frank Cassano Asks, “Who’s to Blame for the 2016 Election?”
Frank Cassano asks, “Who’s to blame for the 2016 election?”