Frank Cassano
Since 2000, Frank Cassano has authored “Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade,” the only worthwhile thing in the Portland Mercury. His interests include fuck you.
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade
This Week’s Question: What Are Your Labor Day Plans?
What are your Labor Day plans?
Posted inMovies & TV
Frank Cassano’s Imbecile Parade!
This week’s question: Are you looking forward to Star Wars: The Force Awakens? CONTINUE READING >>>
Posted inLuv
Happy Valentine’s Day to ME, Imbeciles!
FRANK CASSANO Afternoon, imbeciles! Wipe the crusted drool off your chins, sit up straight, and try paying attention to something that isn’t YouPorn for once… because I have a VERY SPECIAL VALENTINE’S DAY ANNOUNCEMENT! As you doubtless know, the only person worth half a damn in this insufferable shitpile of a town—KGW’s charming, beautiful, witty, […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown: A Year in Review”
FRANK CASSANO As we finally finish our slog through another year’s worth of insipid bullshit from the halfwit twat-nozzles at the Portland Mercury, I have been asked by that publication’s cocaine-addled editor-in-chief, Wm. Steven Humphrey, to “take a quick look-see through the archives to find the best Blogtown had to offer in 2011!” Mr. Humphrey’s […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown: A Year in Review”
FRANK CASSANO As we finally finish our slog through another year’s worth of insipid bullshit from the halfwit twat-nozzles at the Portland Mercury, I have been asked by that publication’s cocaine-addled editor-in-chief, Wm. Steven Humphrey, to “take a quick look-see through the archives to find the best Blogtown had to offer in 2011!” Mr. Humphrey’s […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown: A Year in Review”
FRANK CASSANO As we finally finish our slog through another year’s worth of insipid bullshit from the halfwit twat-nozzles at the Portland Mercury, I have been asked by that publication’s cocaine-addled editor-in-chief, Wm. Steven Humphrey, to “take a quick look-see through the archives to find the best Blogtown had to offer in 2011!” Mr. Humphrey’s […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown: A Year in Review”
FRANK CASSANO As we finally finish our slog through another year’s worth of insipid bullshit from the halfwit twat-nozzles at the Portland Mercury, I have been asked by that publication’s cocaine-addled editor-in-chief, Wm. Steven Humphrey, to “take a quick look-see through the archives to find the best Blogtown had to offer in 2011!” Mr. Humphrey’s […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown: A Year in Review”
FRANK CASSANO As we finally finish our slog through another year’s worth of insipid bullshit from the halfwit twat-nozzles at the Portland Mercury, I have been asked by that publication’s cocaine-addled editor-in-chief, Wm. Steven Humphrey, to “take a quick look-see through the archives to find the best Blogtown had to offer in 2011!” Mr. Humphrey’s […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown in Review”
FRANK CASSANO Another week, another feces-smeared shit parade of half-assed “content.” Keep up the hard work, you diddling imbeciles! Perhaps if you post a few more fashion sale alerts or YouTubes, you’ll manage to stay in business for another seven days! I mean, I certainly hope you won’t, but perhaps you will. Let’s get this […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown in Review”
FRANK CASSANO Excuse my absence last week, imbeciles. I took a brief vacation to the greater Chicagoland area in order to get the patchouli stench of half-assed revolution out of my nostrils. Alas, shortly after my arrival, I encountered this dipshit. The matter has been dealt with. • Having apparently taken a position in the […]
Posted inImbecile Parade
Frank Cassano’s “Blogtown in Review”
FRANK CASSANO • After spending years bitching and moaning about other people’s novels, Mercury book critic Alison Hallett is attempting to write one of her own! Ms. Hallett: You will fail. Also, in the ludicrously unlikely event you do succeed, you should know that no one over the age of 12 will want to read […]