I’m certainly sure you are familiar with the phrase “leaving well enough alone.” And I’m just as certainly sure you think “leaving well enough alone” is a good idea. Well, HORSE HOCKEY! Do you think I would have gotten this far in the business had I “left well enough alone”? Hell, NO! I am a […]
Wm. Steven Humphrey
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang.
Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)
Posted inMovies & TV
Secrets Revealed
Tom Cruise’s Vanilla-Flavored Freak-Out
Vanilla Sky dir. Crowe Opens Fri Dec 14 Various If one believes in the veracity of movie posters, “Vanilla Sky is an out-there erotic thriller with mind-bending secrets no review should give away.” Okay, so let’s break that assessment down–but first, some explanation is in order. Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a hotshot 33-year-old who […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Mercury Video Picks
Calling Dr. Quacky! Doctors are evil. Okay, so maybe all of them aren’t, but mine sure as shit is! For legal reasons, I will call him “Dr. Quacky,” but if you’ve ever sat in his waiting room for TWO hours, only to have him tell you to “stop smoking so much pot,” then you’ll know […]
Posted inI Love Television
I Love Television
Stizzle and Hizzle
It’s always a hippity-happy day here at I Love Television™ when we learn that Hollywood is turning one of our favorite shows into a movie. Why? Because it’s a “win-win” situation! If the movie is great, we can say, “Well naturally! What could go wrong with such a terrific premise?” And if it eats donkeys, […]
Posted inMusic
The Mercury Music Trivia Challenge
Sam Coomes Takes on Steve Albini
Ever feel like your brain is so crammed with useless knowledge that sometimes you just wanna take an axe and kill somebody? Well! Now you know how music geeks feel! Therefore it is up to the Mercury to release just a bit of pressure from the brainpan of your average music know-it-all with our Music […]
Posted inI Love Television
I Love Television
I Love Hormel Chili
First Things First! I hereby vow to never again use this column to engage in an argument on the subject of the worst superhero in the world–Aquaman. I will only go as far to say that Aquaman is as useless as the Beatles, and leave it at that. And that he is stupid. And THAT […]
Posted inMovies & TV
The Trust Issue
Scott Lacks Faith in Spy Game
Spy Game dir. Scott Opens Fri Nov 23 Various Theaters So when you make a movie about the inner workings of the CIA, you figure its gotta be an uphill battle–’cause nobody likes the CIA, right? But in Spy Game, director Tony Scott (Enemy of the State, Crimson Tide, and–woo-hoo!–Top Gun) tries to make at […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Mercury Video Picks
Poultry On Film As another Thanksgiving Day rolls around, now is a good time as any to think about what the holiday means to us. To me, it means poultry. And there’s nothing that whets my appetite for turkey sandwiches, goose-liver pate, and McDonald’s Chicken Tenders like a good movie about our fine feathered friends. […]
Posted inTheater & Performance
The Dina Martina Holiday Show
Theater Review
The Dina Martina Holiday Show Echo Theatre, Howie Baggadonutz Presents Nov 24 only Sometimes this horrible world gives birth to a phenomena almost too beautiful to explain–but god knows, I’ll try. Her name is Dina Martina. And though the character of Dina is played by a wondrously talented actor named Grady West, I’m fairly certain […]
Posted inUncategorized
Last Supper
Poultry On Film As another Thanksgiving Day rolls around, now is a good time as any to think about what the holiday means to us. To me, it means poultry. And there’s nothing that whets my appetite for turkey sandwiches, goose-liver pate, and McDonald’s Chicken Tenders like a good movie about our fine feathered friends. […]