T.S. Eliot is full of shit. April is not that cruel—at least occasionally it stops raining and I don’t have to wear gloves and goddammit I need new wiper blades and…so yeah, I’m saying January is far, far worse. In fact, I only have two things going for me right now: coffee and beer. Bridgeport, […]
Drunk
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New Bills Roundup: Freeing Homebrew From the Home
Patrick Long The legislative session kicked off this week, with over 1,600 new laws and rule changes proposed by Oregon’s representatives. I’ll be doing roundups of the laws relevant to Portland on the blog all weekend and next week. Remember the scandal last summer when the state fair had to cancel its 22nd-annual homebrew competition? […]
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Four Loko Finds a New Home: In Your Car
In case you were worried that Four Loko was just going to disappear off your 7-11 shelves and rot in some warehouse, worry no more. On the East Coast they’re turning Four Loko into ethanol and other products (though the other products weren’t specified… maybe more alcohol?). A company in Virginia, MXI Environmental Services, recycles […]
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The Most Dangerous Bar: Club 915 Loses Liquor License After 19 “Serious Incidents”
The OLCC announced today that it has repealed Club 915’s liquor license. The most recent fatal shooting of the club’s bouncer is just the beginning. In the past year, the OLCC and police detailed a whopping 19 serious incidents involving fights, altercations, or drugs at the club. The official list (pdf) of all the shit […]
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Good Morning, Amy Winehouse!
Alright you guys! Fun is fun—but C’MON! Who woke up Amy Winehouse?? (NSFW rest of this picture after the jump!) “Ugggggggghhhhh…….” “UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” PHOTO VIA
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Today in Drunk People Cracking Themselves Up
It’s a scientific fact: DRUNK PEOPLE ARE FUNNY! (Especially me. One time when I was drunk, I broke into a department store and posed like a mannequin in the window, which was super hilarious. Until I was arrested.) Anyway, here are some drunk cute people (wildly preferred to drunk ugly and mean people) cracking themselves […]
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Dig A Pony, Or Maybe Not
2010 saw the closing of Niki’s—the Greek diner that sat on the corner of SE Grand and Morrison for 38 years—but 2011 will witness the space’s rebirth as a new bar, which may or not end up being called Dig a Pony. One of the new owners, Jacob Carey (formerly of the band Caves, and […]
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Planning for First Hangover of 2011
I’m a little shaky when it comes to planning ahead, so while I may have no clue about what I want to do for New Year’s Eve, I do have January 1st dialed in thanks to the Grindhouse Film Fest. Check it: three hangover helpers to get you through the rocky patches of your dry-mouthed, […]
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A Special Message (And Awkward Dance) from Spike
Christmas is about giving, OKAY?!? And while I’m not exactly sure why Spike is giving us the following video, I do know that he knows the true reason for the season which is something about Jesus and treason. And something about “Jew hats” too. Anyway, here’s a sweet drunk guy dancing around in his underpants.
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Killer Shark Killed by Drunk Serbian (With Assist from his Butt)
One of the problems with the “media” (DON’T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? ME, TOO!!), is they never have any “feel good” stories! It’s always about rape and torture and genital mutilation and strangling bunnies for the fun of it and drowning toddlers because sometimes they just won’t shut up! They also never feature any stories […]
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Russian Hits Another Russian with Shovel (Translated)
In the following video, one Russian hits another Russian over the head with a shovel—repeatedly. (Though the second Russian seems to barely notice.) TRANSLATION: VLADAMIR: (To friend sitting next to him) So anyway, I says to Boris, I says… [FYODOR WALKS IN, HITS VLADAMIR ON HEAD WITH SHOVEL.] VLADAMIR: Ow. Hey Fyodor, what’s up with […]
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Jameson Juice Box – Brilliant!
As I sit here writing this post I literally have two cans of Four Loko in my car that I smuggled over the border on my way back to Portland this weekend from California. If you are as saddened by the ban of Four Loko in Oregon as I am, then this might be your […]