CNN has called it. Fox has called it. If there is not pandemonium where you are then I’m sad for you. It’s a new era folks, and when your hangover clears, you better be ready to do some fucking work. Because, if we can make this happen, then we can make anything happen. That’s hope. […]
Drunk
Posted inDrunk
Time for a New Deal!
Well, this party is going off the hook right now and I’ve finally cracked my bottle of New Deal vodka. It seems rather appropriate for some reason. New Deal. Yep. That sounds just about right. Right now my New Deal is mixed with some OJ. Symbolism? I don’t know… I think it’s even Florida OJ. […]
Posted inDrunk
Autumn Boozy Goodness: Bewaaaaare!
I know the only reason you’re reading this is so you don’t have to stare at your office mate, Karl, who uses Halloween as the yearly excuse to dress like his mother (and who knew Karl’s mother was so into leather?). So, let’s try to make it worth your while. Tips for Boozing on Halloween […]
Posted inDrunk
My Halloween Wish
Call Me It’s a rainy Halloween day, and there’s nothing more I’d like to do than hang out on the couch and watch disturbing, murderous, and otherwise dark films. Instead, I’m in the office. But thanks to the magic of IMDb, in association with Hulu, there are plenty of Halloween-y films right at the end […]
Posted inDrunk
Happy Halloween, Everybody!
Stand back everybody… his webbing could shoot out from anywhere. OH, AND WHILE I’M THINKING ABOUT IT! Please take a look at this hilarioso site which documents the ten WORST TV related Halloween costumes… like… EVER. Here’s my favorite. Cousin Jeri from The Facts of Life! YAAAAY! (Thanks Brad!)
Posted inDrunk
Two Things of Note Before I Leave the Office
Did I ever tell you that a couple of years ago I dressed up as He-Man for Halloween? Here’s a picture. I was reminded of this absolutely awesome costume when I saw this equally awesome commercial for He-Man and the Masters of the Universe… ON ICE! (Skeletor on skates is a force to be reckoned […]
Posted inDrunk
Two Wonderful Bits of News from the OLCC
The OLCC says: Some businesses gain an hour of alcohol sales when DST ends PORTLAND, Ore. – Oregonians will officially move their clocks backwardone hour at 2:00 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 2 as Daylight Saving Time ends. As aresult, some nightclubs, bars, taverns and other licensed premises thatstay open until 2:00 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. will […]
Posted inArtsy
Robocop on a Unicorn
While the internet itself is certainly a thing of beauty, I sincerely believe it is capable of creating “the ultimate beauty.” For example, the big thing on the internet right now is artistic renderings of Robocop on a Unicorn. Why? Who the eff knows? And who are we to even question such a thing of […]
Posted inDrunk
Halloween Costume No-No’s!
If you’re anything like me, right about now you’re saying, “OH, CRAP ME! Halloween is this Friday, and I don’t have a freaking costume yet!” Well, let me tell you one thing: Now is not the time to panic. When one panics, one makes hasty rash decisions which could lead to embarrassing Halloween costume mistakes. […]
Posted inDrunk
Autumn Boozy Goodness: Blooooood!
Okay, here’s my story. Granted, it’s been filtered through about 3/4 of a bottle of wine (happy Friday!), but still… Earlier this week I went on a journey, hoping to familiarize myself with that mystical land east of 82nd on Sandy Blvd, better known as Parkrose. For the most part, the trip was uneventful. I […]
Posted inDrunk
I Now Like the French Better than the Chinese
Remember back during the Olympics when I was crapping my pants in amazement over how awesome the opening ceremonies were? And how I doubted that any other country in the world could muster up that many citizens to do the exact same thing at the same time? I WAS WRONG -ish. Though still great, China […]
Posted inDrunk
The (Delicious, Lightly-Carbonated, Malternative) Dream is Dead
Poor Zima, we hardly knew thee. MILWAUKEE (AP) – MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima. The joint venture between SABMiller’s U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10. Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was […]