I currently have two holes in my stomach, a 3-inch-long oval, and a 5-inch-long incision. Each is held together by a few metal staples and sheer force of will. This post was originally going to be a high-resolution, 300 image set of a beautiful, pink-haired woman (whose eyes have that “sedated Stygian abyss” quality you […]
Video Games
Posted inVideo Games
(Not So) Mini-Review: Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure
My job as a professional guy-who-writes-about-games-because-he-can’t-find-a-mayor-to-smooch convinces any publisher who can get their hands on my address and contact info to mail me every last piece of gaming swag belched forth from their anachronistic, steam-powered gaming mills. Most times these games go in a big bag labeled “not food” to keep the local feral children […]
Posted inVideo Games
Brütal Legend: I Just Don’t Get It
Maybe I prefer my rock idols to be mumbling heroin addicts instead of mumbling middle-aged reality TV personae. Maybe I have an inconsolable fear of umlauts. Maybe when I was a kid my parents told me Lemmy would steal my teeth if I didn’t get to bed on time. For whatever reason I’m just not […]
Posted inVideo Games
Batman, Modern Green Static, And The Future of Gaming
I won’t lie — I wasn’t in San Francisco for the Game Developer’s Conference this week. Someone had to stay in Portland and drink heavily while crying, and as a result I missed … absolutely nothing. Aside from a few panels that are only interesting to gaming journalists, designers and the industry’s creepiest fans, for […]
Posted inVideo Games
I Miss The Soviet Bloc
I was only 2-years-old when the Soviet bear was mortally wounded by the twin guns of economic collapse and Rocky IV. I never knew the fear of Reagan-era Mutually Assured Destruction, nor the megalomaniacal American pride at watching Soviet teens fight over a pair of Levis. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t think my […]
Posted inVideo Games
Nikola Tesla, Justin Timberlake and Link Walk Into A Bar …
… and in the punchline, the bar is made of sexy purple electricity. I haven’t quite worked out the wording. Propers to ArcAttack for destroying the last hour of my life with hot Tesla Coil-on-audio action, and Vimeo for making YouTube look like Friendster.
Posted inVideo Games
Tyson vs. Ali: WHO YA GOT?
Muhammad Ali: “I believe in the religion of Islam. I believe in Allah and peace.” Mike Tyson: “I want to rip out his heart and feed it to Lennox Lewis. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.” I think the choice is clear.
Posted inEvents
Sunday! All-Ages Rock Band! Backspace!
Hey kids, are you tired of being left out of Ground Kontrol’s weekly Rock Band Tuesday event simply because your parents lacked the foresight to birth you before 1988? Good news! Ground Kontrol, in collaboration with Backspace, is holding an all-ages Rock Band event this Sunday, March 22. Official deets: Got friends who want to […]
Posted inVideo Games
Alien vs. Predator… AT POOL.
io9 has three excellent ads from New Zealand promoting Sky TV’s Aliens vs. Predator movie night. (If the AVP movies were actually like this, they might not have blown chunks.) Two more after the jump!
Posted inVideo Games
This Just In: Future Pittsburgh Sucks
The first official trailer for Fallout 3’s “The Pitt” expansion has been released, demonstrating the horrors of a future-earth Pittsburgh ravaged by Ben Roethlisberger nuclear war. Unlike the Pittsburgh of today, The Pitt is an industrial wasteland ruled by mutants and despots. Something like Barter Town, only with less Tina Turner. The Pitt is scheduled […]
Posted inVideo Games
DOOM + Diablo = Still Not As Rad As Kiala’s Cats
It’s not an adorable Briton screaming “rape” at a picture of two cats, but If Software’s DOOM-as-filtered-through-Diablo game, DOOM: Fall of Mars, is almost as esoterically rad as the company’s name — even if it’s “more of a concept than a game at this point.”
Posted inBusey!
Hi. I’m Nex And I’m A Peggle Addict.
*Obligatory “Hi Nex” (and one dude questioning my dumb name)* My story isn’t all that different from yours, I suppose. I started playing Peggle when it was released on the PC in 2007. At first it was just at parties, with friends. Some guy would say “Hey man, we’re gonna do some lines and play […]