Burn a bra for the latest addition to the enemy roster of BioShock 2: the Big Sister. Think: BioShock’s Big Brother, only with more estrogen, a handy carrying satchel for her Little Sister counterpart, and a pneumatic drill where her sparkly bangles would normally be. Sadly this image is about the extent of anyone’s knowledge […]
Video Games
Posted inVideo Games
Once Again, Stereotypical Fetish Saves Japan
I just finished writing The Merc’s Resident Evil 5 review, and it got me thinking about the cultural differences that define the way Americans and their Japanese brethren view hordes of shambling undead. Whereas Americans see resurrected corpses as either a thinly veiled dissection of the looming Communist threat or a good excuse to grow […]
Posted inVideo Games
‘In The End, Everybody Bleeds The Same.’
(Notice me not making a menstruation joke here. That’s right ladies, I’m totally sensitive to your gross vag blood.) The demo for Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena came to the various game download services this week. Vin Diesel may be quickly sliding into the angry obscurity of a Dolph Lundgren (one step above […]
Posted inBooks
The WonderCon 2009 Finale!
DEAR GOD IS WONDERCON OVER YET? It seems as if it’s been years since we lived a WonderConless existence – toiling under the merciless otherworldly glow of Cheetos and Mountain Dew and paunch while a general pervasive stickiness seeped into the very fibers of our human existence and we melted into a puddle of couch […]
Posted inVideo Games
Mini-Reviews: 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand, Killzone 2, Noby Noby Boy, Flower
It’s been a while since I’ve done a Mini-Review piece, and while I was away, things got seriously weird. In the recent past, the PlayStation 3 got a small handful of games to make Xbox 360 owners alternately jealous, confused and sorta want to make out with a tulip, and 50 Cent is somehow the […]
Posted inBooks
Welcome to WonderCon 2009
I’m just going to cut to the chase because I’ve been sitting in front of my computer since early this morning editing the crap out of all my glorious WonderCon footage and I’m cranky and tired and frankly a little scared that I might have overdosed on Diet Coke. Is that a thing? Cutting to […]
Posted inVideo Games
LittleBigContra: I Think I Just Peed A Little
Ladies, don’t take that headline as an admission of incontinence. I’ve got the bladder of a grizzly bear. But sometimes the ‘net just shocks me with something so damn awesome, so purely radical, that — like the majestic falcon — I piss all over myself. The theme music from Contra alone is generally enough to […]
Posted inEvents
Good News, Bad News: Video Games Live Coming to Portland
Good news: Video Games Live, the world’s premier fusion of video game music and fancy orchestral accompaniment is coming to the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Bad news: The show isn’t until November. Good news: The VGL folk have scheduled two shows to ensure that everyone has a chance to cry like a little girl with […]
Posted inEvents
Saturday! Street Fighter! Ground Kontrol! Nihilism?
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche once wrote “Some men are born posthumously.” Admittedly, it sounds better in the original German — or, at least, more like an angry demand — but I think you see what I’m getting at here: Street Fighter is awesome. Try to ignore the circuitous segue there, and instead focus on this Saturday’s […]
Posted inDrunk
I Am a Sick Bastard
Thanks to Hulu and the Fox “Reality” TV Channel, I’m not sure my soul will ever be clean again. I speak of my current obsession with the show Solitary, which is one of the most painful, despicable, outrageous, and disgusting abuses of television to ever be fed in steaming shovelfuls to the lowest common denominator. […]
Posted inVideo Games
Killzone 2 Now On Sale (Apparently)
Sony didn’t send me an early copy of Killzone 2, so imagine my surprise when I walk into a store last night — 5 days prior to the Killzone 2 release — to see the game on sale. Since I have way too much free time, I thought I’d check another nearby store to see […]
Posted inVideo Games
The New Halo Game (Sort Of): Impressions of Halo Wars.
The fact that the latest Halo title is a real-time strategy game is weirdly appropriate, actually: When Halo came out for the original Xbox, there were countless PC gamers who felt jilted because the game, originally intended for Mac and PC, had ended up on a console. But now, five years after the first Halo—and […]