Ryan Alexander-Tanner THE HOLIDAY SEASON is a time for reflecting on the good things in your life: your friends, your family, how CJ McCollum looks like Steve Urkel when he uses science to become the much sexier (but way less endearing) Stefan Urquelle. However, amid all this mindfulness, I think it’s important to also think […]
Holiday
Posted inHoliday
Wm.™ Steven Humphrey’s “Unfuckwithable Rules of the White Elephant Gift Exchange”
Our annual Mercury office “White Elephant Gift Exchange” is going down next week, and you’re not invited. HOWEVER! In the public’s interest, here is my annual blog post, “Wm.™ Steven Humphrey’s Three Unfuckwithable Rules of the White Elephant Gift Exchange” for those who don’t want their office White Elephant exchange to be a fucking disaster.—Wm.™ […]
Posted inComedy
Billy on the Street and Will Ferrell Make a Christmas Classic!
Okay, I agree that I’m obsessed with the solid gold comedy produced weekly by Billy Eichner and his show Billy on the Street. And yes, I post a lot of his clips. BUT! If you only watch one comedy clip this holiday season, make it this one! In this on-the-street game show, host Billy and […]
Posted inTV
Crappy Christmas, Charlie Brown
[Just so you know, the 50th (!!) anniversary of A Charlie Brown Christmas airs tonight at 9 pm on ABC—with a 50th anniversary special convening right before at 8 pm. Those who have been following me for years already know that this cartoon has haunted me for my entire life… but many of you may […]
Posted inTV
Check Out the Official Trailer for Bill Murray’s A Very Murray Christmas!
Not so long ago I whet your appetite with a teaser for the upcoming one-off holiday special A Very Murray Christmas (debuting December 4 on Netflix)—and now? Here’s the official trailer, just released today! Directed by Sofia Coppola and shot with the same corny adorableness as those old-timey celebrity holiday spectaculars, this one stars Bill […]
Posted inFashion
Our Madonna Halloween Costume Guide
Joseph Harmon Take it from someone who has dressed up as Madonna on three different Halloweens: She is a fount of easy and amazing costume ideas. Her look is so versatile! You can repurpose last year’s sexed-up Sandy from Grease outfit into Madonna’s iconic “Papa Don’t Preach” vampy black bustier and capris. Have a bloodied […]
Posted inHoliday
LET’S BLOW SOME SHIT UP: An Explosive Guide to the Latest in Firework Technology
[Here’s a classic fireworks review from Ye Olde Mercurie newspaper, circa. 2001. Happy 4th of July everyone!—eds] When our forefathers gave their lives on the battlefields of glory to rid our new country of the stinking British, they didn’t do it just so you could sit on your ass every Fourth of July eating barbecued […]
Posted inHoliday
Your 4th of July Plans: Why Not Try the St. Paul Rodeo?
I make no bones about it: I LOVE THE ST. PAUL RODEO ON JULY 4TH! I’ve attended every year for the past five years—but here’s the thing. I’ve never been to the rodeo proper. Why? Because I don’t like rodeos so much, and besides, there are already too many fun things to do there. The […]
Posted inHoliday
Public Service Announcement: HULK HATE FIREWORKS!
Attention puny humans! What follow am public service announcement about fireworks! (Ahem.) HULK HATE FIREWORKS! Fireworks make Hulk want to SMASH!! Don’t puny humans care about Hulk feelings? Every year, puny Bruce Banner very nicely knock on neighbor door and say, “Excuse me? Your fireworks are really frightening… errr… my dog.” Then puny neighbors laugh […]
Posted inHoliday
Easter’s New Cutting Edge Marketing Strategies!
Wanna know what cracks my eggs? People who forget the true meaning of Easter. In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve been delivering baskets of treats to children for centuries… and yet? Apparently I’m “BORING” now! I guess I’m “UNCOOL” now! Suddenly candy and hard-boiled eggs aren’t “HIP” now! How do I know this? Well, according to […]
Posted inNews
And Now, Perhaps the Finest St. Paddy’s Day News Blooper You Will Ever See
In this sure-to-be-a-classic news blooper, a reporter introduces… ummm… someone who is doing something to her vagina… ummm… in front of a bunch of kids. HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY, EVERYBODY! UPDATE: The video was taken down… but here’s the money shot.
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Your Christmas Wasn’t as Good as This
This is hilarious, and yet makes me despondent… because I know I will never experience a reaction as pure and as joyful as the one this teenager has after receiving One Direction tickets for Christmas. (I might for an N*SYNC reunion, though!)