Welp, it’s my last day as a Mercury apprentice, which means so many things: 1) I can finally look my boss, Wm.™ Steven Humphrey, directly in the eyes (he has a strict “apprentices will not look me in the eye” rule).2) I won’t be getting flipped off every… single… day.3) I’ll no longer be forced […]
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What Models Make
If you’ve ever fantasized that if you just had the right bone structure you could be living in a luxury loft and jetting around the world on a near-constant basis, well… you’re right, you can. But the recent lawsuit filed by Polish supermodel Anna Jagodzinska against her agency, Next (the details of which you can […]
Cabbies, Mohawks, Turkeys, and You
While you weren’t looking, Bishops has gone and further expanded their astonishingly quickly multiplying empire. They’re opening two new locations (one in Bridgeport, the other at Orenco Station, wherever the hell that is) next month. But they’re still keeping up the goodwill by continuing their annual Christmas dinner drive, Mohawks for Turkeys. (I know, more […]
These are the Product Placements of Our Lives
As I shared with you recently, daytime soaps are being forced into putting not-so-subtle product placements into their overly dramatic scenes, and… SURPRISE! Unintentional hilarity ensues! Here’s such a scene from Days of our Lives, sponsored by MIDOL. HA-HA-HAAAAA! That clip was so funny, it gave me cramps. Luckily I keep some MIDOL in my […]
City Audit: $14.2 Million Software System Actually Cost Us $47.4 Million
A new city audit released this morning rips Portland government a new one over its botched roll-out of a payroll software system that was supposed to cost $14.2 million but wound up socking the city for some $47.4 million—and counting!—instead. Check out a link to the report, prepared by the office of City Auditor LaVonne […]
Hey Mercury Ad Sales Team! WATCH THIS!
Look, Mercury Ad Sales Team! You guys know you’re the best in the business—but today I want you to MAKE… THINGS… HAPPEN! And by “THINGS,” I mean “AD SALES” and by “MAKE” I mean “FIGHT” and by “FIGHT” I mean “LISTEN” to the amazing inspirational words of car motivational speaker Chad Goldwasser who, with a […]
Amazon Hosts Another ‘Buy 2, Get 1 Free’ Games Sale With A HUGE Selection And LOOMING Deadline
Remember this sale Amazon held a few weeks back? If you dug the concept but couldn’t find any games that got you hot on the single page of titles the online retailer was pimping, you should take a look at Amazon’s latest promotion. Essentially it’s the same deal as last time โ buy two games, […]
Busy Day: Budget Retreat and Cop Union Talks
I’m not sure whether you would call my day “fun.” I spent much of it splitting time between the Portland City Council’s budget retreat in City Hall and the Portland Police Association contract negotiations in the Portland Building. It was, at the least, educational. In the budget meeting, we learned that Portland has $9.7 million […]
Wonder Ballroom Ticket Promotion
Hey, wanna see a show at the Wonder Ballroom? Which one? Oh, I dunno, how about Kate Nash, The Heavy, Yard Dogs Road Show, Eisley, Zane Lamprey, Amadan, Steven Page (Yikes! The guy Barenaked Ladies), The Gracious Few (Double yikes! Members of Live and Candlebox), Les Savy Fav, the Reverend Horton Heat, Old 97’s, or […]
Amazon Hosts ‘Buy 2, Get 1 Free’ Game Sale
To the terror of weak-willed parents everywhere, we’re rolling up on the Christmas season. A special time of year when wrinkly old German men and the hordes of devotees who worship them seemingly based on cranial fashion choices try to convince the world that we ought to come together and touch one another because some […]
New Jackass Movie On the Way
Hey, have you seen Jackass 3D yet? I saw it the other night and it was amazing. The 3D was so in your face the stupid people came right off the screen and into the audience. I’m kidding, of course, kind of. I had an awesome time seeing testicles get abused in all three dimensions […]
Oregon: The 44th Worst State for Business!
A couple people tipped me off to this study that you can wave in the face of anyone who says Oregon is bad for business: Forbes magazine (which loves business. And money. And cigars.) named Oregon the sixth best state for business in the country. That’s a jump from 10th place last year. Check out […]
