Okay, people! You’ve had plenty of warning, but I’ll fire one last squirt across your bow. THE MERCURY CHARITY YARD SALE IS THIS SUNDAY—RAIN OR SHINE!If the weather stinks, we’ll be having it inside the Mercury‘s earthly offices at 605 NE 21st Ave, that’s one block north of Sandy on 21st. We’ll be in business […]
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Mercury Yard Sale Update: Things Are Getting Weird
Three things to know about this Mercury Charity Yard Sale thingy we’re throwing this Sunday (April 10) from 11 am to 5 pm, at the Merc office/portal to several alternate universes (605 NE 21st Ave): 1) IT’S FOR CHARITY! In particular it’s to benefit the rescue and support of animals affected by the Japanese tsunami […]
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Big Banks are Bad for You.
In our print cover story this week, I write about how to quit various services that have a track record of trampling on consumer rights. One thing you should quit right now: Bank of America. And any other big, national bank. If you don’t have loans or other complicated financial arrangements going on with your […]
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Mercury Yard Sale Update: Autographs, Autographs, Autographs!
The pile of weird, wondrous (only occasionally bullshitty) ephemera just keeps on growing, and we’re gonna sell it ALL at the Mercury Charity Yard Sale, this coming Sunday (April 10) at 11 am – 5 pm at the current Mercury offices (605 NE 21st Ave). Books! CDs! DVDs! Videogame equipment! Kung Fu Panda promotional items! […]
Posted inTech
Dating Website Makes Prostitution Fun and Easy!
Ugh! What is up with dating websites? I am a rich, lonely bachelor and I shouldn’t have to spend time and money sorting through profile after profile looking for attractive people who will love me for my money! Similarly, I am also a young, attractive, shallow person. Why do I have to trudge endlessly through […]
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Mercury Yard Sale Update: Look What’s for Sale!
As Marjorie recently wrote, the Mercury offices are moving to a posh, ivory tower downtown, which is actually kind of a step down from the space station we currently inhabit, endlessly circling above the earth. HOWEVER! OUR LOSS IS YOUR GAIN! Because we’re having an amazing yard sale on Sunday, April 10th from 11am – […]
Posted inPolitics
Where Revenue from Oregon’s Cigarette Tax Goes
Illustration by Jess Ruliffson In this week’s news section, I wrote about Multnomah County’s continuing struggle to get lawmakers in Salem to let the county levy its very own cigarette tax. Our little piece of Oregon, after all, was the only county in 2007 to say yes to hiking the current statewide tax, still just […]
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Get Motivationalized, Ya’ll!
As mentioned in GMN, the reason it took you so long to get to work this morning is because of the GET MOTIVATED! business seminar currently underway at the Rose Garden. Though this may come as a shock, I decided against attending this seminar… but not because I think I’m too awesome (though—let’s face it, […]
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Millionaires Don’t Even Feel Rich.
Here’s an Onion-worthy update on the feelings of the nation’s millionaires: More than four out of ten American millionaires say they do not feel rich. Indeed many would need to have at least $7.5 million in order to feel they were truly rich, according to a Fidelity Investments survey… Fidelity noted the wealthiest 5 percent […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Hollywood Really Wants to Figure Out How That Goose Is Laying Those Eggs
You should read this CNET story about how Hollywood is beginning to conspire against Netflix. Hollywood film executives want you to know that they are not at war with Netflix or the Internet. Some of them told me over the past week that they have every intention to continue to distribute films and TV shows […]
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Blogtown Investment Opportunity: Let’s Buy a Boat!
Greetings, potential Blogtown investors. Unlike my previous friends-helping-friends financial scheme or my blatant Amway product placement (“Tonight the Blazers’ defense is as effective as Amway’s Legacy of Clean™ Dishwasher Detergent”), I have a real can’t-miss investment opportunity for you all: Let’s buy the Sternwheeler River Boat! Holy crap, it’s a downright steal at only $160k. […]
Posted inPolitics
Do You Have the Stones to Pick on Old People, the Disabled, Schoolkids, and Moms on Welfare? Yes? Because Here’s Your Chance!
Here’s the most un-fun game ever! How would you solve Oregon’s $3.5 billion budget deficit? Would you raise income taxes and annoy the rich? Or would you push a sales tax that punishes the poor? Would you foist prisoners and the mentally ill on broke-ass counties? Or would you fire teachers? Should disabled kids leave […]