Newsblast!

Do you drive a motor vehicle? Then dig this! Oceans of parking, or maybe just some pleasantly sized lakes, have opened in downtown Portland, the city’s transportation bureau reports—after a significant tightening of the rules governing so-called “disabled placards” earlier this year. Governor John Kitzhaber’s office seems hellbent on waiting until after next week’s election […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You know you’ve changed, and your words they lie. That’s something you can’t deny. LET’S GO TO PRESS. In case you missed it yesterday, an unmanned supply rocket designed to deliver food to the International Space Station blew up after leaving the launch pad. Almost immediately the Russians said, “We got this,” […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Give it to me baby, like boom, boom, boom. What I wa-wa-want Is what you wa-wa-want. LET’S GO TO PRESS. Good morning, Ebola news! A child in NYC who recently returned from West Africa has been taken to the hospital for tests after developing a fever. Meanwhile, an American doctor who survived […]

It might be a “political stunt.” But no matter! Republican Dennis Richardson has convincingly upped the rhetorical ante in his suddenly more-viable campaign against Governor John Kitzhaber—after writing a letter to federal authorities asking that Kitzhaber and his first lady face investigation for highly consequential felony charges including bribery, money laundering, and conspiracy. The letter […]

How much did it rain yesterday? It rained so hard,and more importantly so fast, that the sewers overflowed into the Willamette River. Which means the river now has our poo inside of it, and you should keep out of it for the next couple of days. And much like rain always finds its way to […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! How you gonna do it if you really don’t wanna dance… by standing on the wall? (Get your back up off the wall.) LET’S GO TO PRESS. Reportedly, a number of shooters are currently terrorizing Ottawa, Canada, killing one soldier at a war memorial, and firing near the Rideau Centre and Parliament […]

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I’ve got to make a play to make my lover stay. So what would an angel say, the devil wants to know. LET’S GO TO PRESS. An Oregon defense attorney accidentally brings his personal bondage handcuff keys into prison—and let the hubbub ensue! Well… they’re no Ariana Grande… but let’s welcome the […]

Property tax season is upon us! Sing like the angels! And guess what? Bills, along with property values, are going up, up, up, and up. Why? Because of this new bubble we’re in and how it’s breaking the chains of Oregon’s byzantine rules around tax “compression.” Thanks, Supreme Court! Texas will be allowed to use […]

Was this murder? Or a horrible accident? An Olympia man was found bleeding with a head wound on West Burnside, near the Burnside Bridge, after paying some friends in town a visit. He also was found, the cops say, without his pants and wallet. He died later, and now his family is wondering why the […]