Holy doody! Ballots are here! Ballots are here! And new polling data released by Oregon Public Radio offers some mixed news about the many consequential state ballot measures eating up tons of money and attention this fall. Legal marijuana is up, up, up, up after a previous poll had it not so up—but it’s still […]
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Good Morning, News: Let’s Use Politics to Forget the Hemorrhaging Terror Creeping Ever-Closer
Ebola continues its incremental creep into our country this morning, but Ebola isn’t going anywhere (except maybe on a lightning-quick manifest destiny romp around our nation), and election season is finite. We begin with politics! You were too busy eating dinner or drinking whiskey or painting figurines to watch debates in the races for governor […]
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Good Morning, News: Register To Vote! Then Maybe Find Yourself a Little Plot of Pot-Farming Land
REGISTER TO VOTE, DAMN YOU. The November 4 election is fast approaching, and today’s the deadline to register, or make sure you’re registered at the correct address. It is easy. Everything about voting in Oregon is easy, and it’s extremely frustrating that you’re even considering not filling out a ballot. Especially with all we’ve got […]
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Good Morning, News: Whether for a Murderous Sociopath or Native Peoples, Your Bank is Closed
It’s Indigenous Peoples’ Day in a couple US cities. Here in Portland, though, you’re going to find yourself waiting in vain near the mail box in honor of detested Cristobal Colon. One of those who’s got the day off? US Attorney Amanda Marshall, who’s quietly asked a federal judge to take back some scathing criticisms […]
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Good Morning, News: Incremental Headlines on the Road to Apocalypse!
It’s NOT Columbus Day, for Portland schoolkids (who don’t have the day off anyway, no matter what it’s called). It’s Indigenous Peoples’ Day, thanks to a vote by the Portland Public Schools board last week that puts PPS in line with a bunch of other places who’ve decided the risk of offending Italians wasn’t worth […]
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Good Morning, News: Fangs Edition! Vampire Sex Romps, Imperiled Tigers, Attacking Jaguars
Sure, write that violent vampire sex thriller with your military buddies. Just know, while you do, that the Oregon Family Council is always watching, and that they love election-year distractions. A Portland-area Wells Fargo employee thought he’d shame the company into across-the-board raises, CCing 200,000 co-workers on an email explaining how the bank’s billions in […]
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Good Morning, News: Crushing Your Cars, Crushing Your Health, Crushing Your Dreams
“Accused car-crushing kingpin” is a helluva title to earn in life, even if it means you and 30 other people have been indicted on racketeering charges in connection with dozens of snatched cars. It says you’ve become interesting. It might also indicate, according to a nice and deep O investigation, that you benefited from a […]
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Good Morning, News: Who Among Us Hasn’t Entered Into a Secret Marriage?
Secret marriages and immigration intrigues top the bill this morning, after Willamette Week reported yesterday Cylvia Hayes—fiancee to Governor John Kitzhaber—was married nearly 20 years ago and told no one about it. WW strongly suggests that’s because Hayes’ third marriage was to an Ethiopian immigrant, and the relationship was solely to get the young man […]
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Good Morning, News: We’ve Got a New Police Chief, But It’s Too Late to Save Your Stolen Car (It Was Crushed, Spectacularly, in Front of Capering Dogs)
So what can you expect from Portland’s soon-to-be police chief? Well, Larry O’Dea is a church-going man, who keeps a horse at his Oregon City home (though he’s publicly fretted over the costs of Portland’s perennially endangered horse patrol). And he tells the O, which sat down with O’Dea after his ascendency was announced yesterday, […]
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Good Morning, News: You’re (Gonna Be) All Wet, Oregon. With Special Guest Star Ebola!
This bedeviling “summer in October” we’ve been enjoying (or at least I’ve been enjoying it; the rest of you keep keening for grayness and misery) ought to wash away by this weekend. A Pacific typhoon has helped give birth to a “pineapple express” storm that’s imminently headed for Oregon’s shores. Remember the pit bull that […]
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Good Morning, News: Good Morning, Marriage Equality!
Same-sex marriage… soon to be legal for all Americans? In a measured but significant announcement, the United States Supreme Court this morning said it wouldn’t hear appeals from five states who’d didn’t like that lower courts had told them to let same-sex couples marry. Which means marriage in those states—Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin—is […]
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Good Morning, News: Another Food Cart (Willing to Buy All the Stuff You Just Stole) Bites the Dust
We’ve achieved the weekend, Portland. Let us not go into it uninformed. Looking to fence some of your many stolen goods? You’ve got one less food cart at which to do so, after cops busted the owner of a downtown Thai cart buying a hot iPad. [*Insert “iPad Thai” joke I just nauseated myself realizing […]