One Day at a Time

MONDAY, APRIL 10 Terror at Britney Spears’ mansion! Last weekend, Brit roused hubby Kevin from his perpetual slumber on the couch to rush baby Sean Preston to the hospital after an unfortunate spill from his highchair. Doctors diagnosed baby Sean as the recipient of “a minor skull fracture and a blood clot,” according to an […]

MONDAY, APRIL 3 Look, let’s not go nuts… okay? We mean, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and this whole Scientology thing is weird, right? REALLY WEIRD. But that doesn’t mean we’ll buy everything the tabs are saying about Katie’s upcoming Scientology inspired keep-your-mouth-shut-during-the-entire-birthing-process weirdness. Example? Cruise’s publicist has rubbished reports that Tom has furnished Kat […]

MONDAY, MARCH 27 Note to the soon-to-be-giving-birth Katie Holmes: SHUT YOUR BIG, FAT MOUTH. That’s the inferred instructions from those wacky Scientologists, who believe than any loud wailing or moaning during the birth process can traumatize the child (or annoy an important movie star like Tom Cruise). In fact, some Scientologist pals were spotted carrying […]

MONDAY, MARCH 20 Today is the first day of spring, and what do we do on the first day of spring? (Besides getting refitted for our diaphragm?) WE CLEAN HOUSE. And that’s exactly what the producers of American Idol threatened to do earlier this month, when they considered giving the heave-ho to emotionally stumbling judge […]

MONDAY, MARCH 13 These days we spend a lot of time thinking about plastic surgery. Not for us, of course, darling, because we are perfect. No. We’re worried about Angelina Jolie. It’s devastating to see the constant stream of photographs of Angie’s expanding waistline, as that fetus of hers grows, bullying its way around her […]

MONDAY, MARCH 6 Where the tongues never stop wagging, it’s One Day at a Time with the latest gossipy gab from Hollyweird! And while one might assume that celebs would take a break after the hustle-bustle of the Oscars—this week is simply dripping with sweet scandally stuff! The most shocking post-Oscars story? Paris Hilton gets […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27 Today we woke up to a big avalanche of DEAD—particularly “TV character” DEAD. No less than FOUR semi-famous TV stars died over the weekend and early week, including Don Knotts (Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show), Darren McGavin (Kolchak from The Night Stalker), Dennis Weaver (McCloud), and Jack Wild (H.R. Pufnstuf). […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20 Providing ooey-gooey, rich and chewy gossip that’s a leading cause of mind decay, it’s One Day at a Time with the latest gab from Hollyweird! And what would a week be without at least one report of Lindsay Lohan losing her virginity—for the bazillionth time. But before we travel down that tawdry […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13 Like buckshot to the face of a Dick Cheney hunting buddy, One Day peppers the world to find the latest and greatest gossipy gab! After years of preaching the gospel through his inexplicably popular rock band Creed, a video was released on the internet this week depicting lead singer Scott Stapp receiving […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6 Even when presented with mountains of proof, the world just can’t seem to come to grips with the awful truth: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are HILLBILLIES! As ruthlessly made fun of last week in One Day, Britney was barely able to stop Kevin from getting four-month-old Sean Preston’s ears pierced. At […]

MONDAY, JANUARY 30 Hold on to your hats for this one, folks: For some reason, teen screen queen Lindsay Lohan was caught at geriatric rocker Bryan Adams’ (“Summer of ’69”) mansion [!!], and after taking a shower (!!) was rushed to the hospital to get 10 stitches after cutting her shin on a broken teacup. […]

MONDAY, JANUARY 23 SEXALICIOUS! That’s the word of the week dripping off all the tongues of Hollyweird! Let’s dish the scoop: Remember carrot-topped American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken? And remember how you always said, “That guy’s just gotta be gay?” Well, we’ll never tell—but we will say that if Clay is gay, he’s got perfect […]