Australia’s Studio 10 co-host Sarah Harris is helping a blindfolded dude lead a demonstration of nail guns (don’t ask), when she points one at her own face and nearly pulls the trigger. Naturally, hilarious panic ensues, but eventually all is well… until she almost injures the demonstration dude, too! GET THAT NAIL GUN (AND ALL […]
PANIC!
Posted inVideo
Watch Some Skateboarder Pee in the Mount Tabor Reservoir!
When this happened three years ago—some butthole peed in the Mount Tabor Reservoir, forcing the grossed-out city decided to dump the whole thing out—everyone lost their minds. Hate mail poured in. And the city’s water bureau found itself fielding calls from national comedic television programs. I guess Portland really has changed since 2011. Because the […]
Posted inPANIC!
Speaking of Climate Change
Seriously, two-thirds of you just… don’t worry that much about climate change? That’s insane. It’s like, the second con on my “SHOULD I HAVE A BABY” pros and cons list. (The first con is “don’t really like babies.”) Anyway, Zadie Smith has a lovely piece in in the New York Review of Books about what […]
Posted inNews
BEWARE THE ZOMBIE HORDES! A Peek Inside Portland’s Emergency Coordination Center
Nathan Gilles Emergency Coordination Center In October I reported the City of Portland was preparing to reveal its new Emergency Coordination Center (ECC). This building will be the command center for city managers in the event of a major disaster like a terrorist attack or a massive earthquake. And I got a look inside. Last […]
Posted inFood and Drink
OMG Stock Up on Sriracha!
The California Department of Public Health has halted shipment of the glorious rooster sauce until mid-January, for what sounds like kind of bogus reasons. “Customers are furious and restaurants are panicking!” says this alarmist teevee news report that is not at all worth waiting through the ad for. (Besides being alarmist, this video also autoplays! […]
Posted inPANIC!
Tonight’s Nightmare… Today!
When I was hiking on a remote island off of Thailand, I ran into a Komodo dragon (it may have been a water monitor, but STILL). These fuckers eat people. (They eat other things, too… but as far as I was concerned at that moment, they only eat people.) Happily I reacted by screaming like […]
Posted in?!?!?
Tonight’s Nightmare… Today!
For years science has been keeping a horrifying secret from us… okay, so maybe they haven’t kept it a secret from you, but I didn’t know anything about it until now! Anyway, that secret is DEEP SEA SQUIDS. They live deep underwater—the video below was shot at 7,500 feet—but I see no reason for them […]
Posted inPANIC!
So Wait… Now We’re Teaching Robots to CHEAT?!?
Look. I’ve seen enough of these robot development videos to be okay with the fact that they will one day be our overlords, and will almost certainly crush my skull beneath their big metallic feet. I CAN LIVE WITH THAT. What I’m having trouble living with is that scientists are now teaching robots to cheat […]
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Visiting Sweden? Awesome! Look Out for Testicle-Eating Fish.
Oh, and South America, too! Because apparently both places now have the “pacu” fish—a relative of the piranha who delights in feasting on men’s testicles. From the hilariously hyperbolic Telegraph: The freshwater fish, which can grow up to 90 centimetres and weigh up to 25 kilogrammes, has been nicknamed the “ball cutter” for its attacks […]
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Whalenado! (Okay, Actually it’s Just a Whale That Almost Eats a Diver.)
I think these scuba divers take it remarkably well when a whale trying to scoop up a school of fish almost EATS THEM AS WELL. Think about this the next time you’re swimming in the ocean.
Posted inMedia
At Least You’re Not in Irvine
via WOW Can someone please bring Irvine a glass of ice water?
Posted inNews
Not Saying Merkley’s Making Hay About NSA Surveillance for Publicity But…
US Sens. Wyden and Merkley You know how US Sen. Jeff Merkley has made us proud in recent days? How he’s been really offended at all these new intelligence disclosures, championing the public’s right to know if they’re being surveilled by the government, clamoring for better congressional oversight of these things? Well, it turns out […]