It’s a downright crime that the Portland Trail Blazers’ Brandon Roy is currently 10th (!) in the All-Star balloting, behind Manu Ginobili, Aaron Brooks, and Tracy McGrady—who is not even playing professional basketball right now. In an effort to drum up some support, the Blazers released this video of Roy getting advice from Travis Outlaw—never […]
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Blazers vs Grizzlies – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers welcome the Memphis Grizzlies. A visit from Memphis used to signal an easy victory for Portland, but this Grizzlies team is on a winning streak and teetering on the cusp of going over .500 for the first time in four seasons. Memphis is lead by […]
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The Portland Trail Blazers, Now with More Metal Detectors
Brandon Roy’s defense is superior to all metal detectors According to First. Live. Local.™ Fox 12, tonight’s Blazers game will feature the perimeter defensive skills of the Metal Detector Bot 5000, which will allow you to bring in your car keys, but not your dirty bombs. The team told season ticket holders that walk-through metal […]
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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Update #2)
Oh, what a glorious day! We have ourselves a new leader in the man vs. pug betting challenge. After a slow start, Olive the pug is on a BCS Bowl game winning streak and has taken the lead from her human opponent. With four games left, and a crispy slice of bacon on the line—oddly […]
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Blazers vs Warriors – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden as the remnants of the Portland Trail Blazers take on the Golden State Warriors. Last April the Blazers headed to the playoffs with a starting lineup of Brandon Roy, Steve Blake, LaMarcus Aldridge, Greg Oden, and Nicolas Batum. Four of those five are injured. As is Rudy Fernandez, Travis Outlaw, […]
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Another Day, Another Blazers Injury
Das Boot! In case you missed the news, the Portland Trail Blazers’ LaMarcus Aldridge—the eventual all-star and the team’s best player not named Brandon Roy—left last night’s 103-99 victory over the Los Angeles Clippers with a left ankle injury. He is currently in “a boot” and is listed as questionable for Saturday’s game against the […]
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Blazers vs Clippers – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers meet their longtime rivals from Southern California, the Los Angeles… Clippers? Oh, wrong team. The Garfunkel to the Lakers’ Simon (it was either that, or the Joe C to the Lakers’ Kid Rock) a visit from the Clippers doesn’t quite have the same flair as […]
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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Update #2)
Our once promising man vs. pug betting challenge has taken a disappointing turn. Neither human or dog has been all that successful, with Matt Slessler (the man) getting a measly 46% of his bowl game picks correct, while Olive (the dog) is nipping at his heels with 38% of her picks. To be honest, I’m […]
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Blazers vs 76ers – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers welcome the Philadelphia 76ers. That band-aid on the pinwheel logo won’t come off until someone/anyone/Rudy returns to the lineup, but the Blazers are hardly the injury-riddled pile of sadness they were a few weeks back. Winners of four straight—five after tonight—the team very well might […]
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Blazers vs Nuggets – Hot Live Blog Action
Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers and the Denver Nuggets celebrate the birth of our one true king—Karl Rove—with a spirited round of basketball. Happy birthday Karl! In honor of your special day, all the kids get presents. The Blazers want another victory, following a grueling road trip that was most […]
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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Update #1)
It’s clear a dog treat-based betting system is not the way to gamble. After one weekend of our Mercury Gambling Challenge, our human gambler (Matt Slessler) is winning by a single game. It’s not an impressive lead, but with an 0-3 start the pug is going to need to make a great comeback. Next game: […]
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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug
Olive and Matt in Vegas. What happened there, stayed there. The Mercury‘s Scientific Gambling Institute has embarked (sorry for the pun) on a mission to determine who is more reliable when it comes to sports gambling: man or pug. We were fortunate to secure gambling expert Matthew Slessler—his can’t miss 5-star lock of the day: […]