Earlier today, I was trying to explain to to someone who had never seen the film what it is that makes John Carpenter’s They Live so unspeakably great. I failed, horribly, probably because my name is neither John Carpenter nor “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Hopefully this condensed version of the film I’ve meticulously pieced together from […]
The Apocalypse
Posted inThe Apocalypse
What Would Happen If Portland Got Nuked?
Hey, everybody! Have you ever wondered what Portland might look like if someone dropped or detonated a nuclear bomb somewhere on Sixth Street between Burnside and Couch? Or have you lost sleep worrying whether your house/apartment/condo/sex dungeon would survive the apocalyptic blast of heat and pressure screaming toward it from a humble one-kiloton nuclear device? […]
Posted inGossip
Cousin Eddie vs. the Star Whackers.
BREAKING: Randy Quaid has bravely exposed a vast conspiracy run by Hollywood executives, Google, and, naturally, his brother Dennis. This clandestine, Illuminati-like organization is aided and abetted by a “monstrous ring of accountants, estate planners, and lawyers who are mercilessly slandering me and trying to kill my career and, I believe, murder me in order […]
Posted inThe Apocalypse
Animals: They Just Never Tap Out, Do They?
I’ve noticed that the news headlines this month seem to be filled with stories about people battling wild animals. Why is this so “in” right now? It seems bizarre, but I think it’s a clear trend; and one that simply suggests the timeless war between men and beasts isn’t over. Those thumb-less little bastards just […]
Posted inThe Apocalypse
Real Estate Investment: This Missile Complex Can Be Yours!
If the citizens of Blogtown can help some kid get her Huffy back, surely we can all go in on this decommissioned missile complex in Othello, WA. It’s a steal at $3.5 million. Decommissioned military TITAN 1 Missile complex can be yours. 1-of-18 built during the Cold War, 1-of-2 for sale and the best preserved. […]