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Am I the Second Coming? Well, it’s the holiday season, a time of year when many of us can’t help but reflect on the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ. As we do, it is completely normal for us to search our own lives for clues of heavenly influence and divine powers. […]

Portland Steak & Chophouse 121 SW 3rd St, 223-6200 Cheap and highbrow are two things I’m always looking for in a restaurant. Not because I’m cheap and not because I’m a snob, but because it’s nice every once in a while to get your meal without waiting for someone to call your number. That’s why […]

Casba 201 NW Davis 971-544-0875 The Mediterranean: I long to travel there in order to scope the devilishly hot Greek men. But, being completely broke, I’m well aware that such travelling isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Instead, I will take comfort in their fine cuisine. Casba’s menu is half-authentic, with some splendid Mediterranean specialties, […]

Do I Have What it Takes to be an Airport Screener? As our nation enters this new era of shiftless anxiety, many folks feel the call to come to the aid of their country. Some will become firefighters. Some, police officers. Some will join the service, work in flag factories, or sell Ford Tempos at […]

Restaurant Russia 6433 SE Foster 771-8873 At Restaurant Russia, I ordered a meat platter appetizer for $7 that promised cuts of sausage and pork. Instead, a plate of thinly sliced fish arrived–herring, salmon, sardines–with spines and bones still intact. It was as if the fish had been run, still alive, through a Cuisinart. Unlike Thai […]

Poultry On Film As another Thanksgiving Day rolls around, now is a good time as any to think about what the holiday means to us. To me, it means poultry. And there’s nothing that whets my appetite for turkey sandwiches, goose-liver pate, and McDonald’s Chicken Tenders like a good movie about our fine feathered friends. […]

The Purple Parlor 3560 N Mississippi Ave 281-3560 Let’s make something clear. Vegan/vegetarian food can be just as good as carnivorian food. The Purple Parlor does little to support this argument. Located in a deceptively charming Victorian house, PP features a very inexpensive menu, mostly stocked with veggie products. None of them are very good. […]

Dahlia Café 3000 NE Killingsworth, 287-4398 There are two things NE Portland could definitely use more of, and they aren’t quickie marts or gutter punks. We need bars and restaurants. Yay for the owners of the Dahlia Café, who have smartly capitalized on the obvious. The Dahlia Café is bright and friendly, without an ounce […]

What Job is Right for Me? The unemployment rate is at 5.4 percent. Recent reports indicate that 415,000 jobs were lost in October alone. You’re twenty-something. Unemployed. Over-educated. Self-entitled. And without prospects. Don’t lose heart! There are plenty of jobs out there that are PERFECT for you! What are they? We’ve narrowed the field to […]

Available at Various Grocery Stores If not for the Higher Taste sandwich, purchasable for approximately $3.39 in the pre-packaged food sections at many grocery stores, I’d starve to death. The sandwich is vegetarian (but not vegan–there’s honey in the buns), convenient, filling, and moderately healthy. Each sandwich is nestled in a slightly sweet, sprouted wheat […]