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Self-Hell

Analysis for People on the Go

Am I an Artificial Life Form? With the astounding advances in animation, and the upcoming release of tearful boy-droid epic AI, it’s not surprising that so many people are considering the possibility that they, themselves, might be artificial life forms. How would you know? What if reality were a complex computer generation and everything you […]

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POOR RICHARD’S

POOR RICHARD’S 3907 NE Broadway, 288-5285 You know how you find that reliable place for each genre: La Bonita for Mexican, Hoda’s for Greek, Tien Hong for Thai and ah… now you’ve got Poor Richard’s for steaks. I found this restaurant in the phone book under “Steaks,” when I was half-broke and too lazy to […]

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India grill

India grill 2924 E Burnside, 236-1790 I’m a very hot person. Hot, like in temperature, hot. I like the windows open in February, a fact that is endlessly annoying to my goosebump-prone coworkers. Sleeping with me is like cuddling with a big metal radiator on full blast. And for some reason, I like to enhance […]

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Grolla

Grolla 2930 NE Killingsworth 493-9521 Sometimes after I get home from a restaurant, I remember clearly why I used to sit alone on the floor in my apartment eating Tostitos and cold baked beans for dinner. The outside restaurant world is so often such a loud, glaring, horrible “Red Robin” sort of place, with annoying […]

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Self-Hell

Analysis for People on the Go

Are You a Bad Correspondent? Are you listless, irritable and chronically guilt-ridden? Do you start letters in your head but never seem to sit down to write them? Does your annual holiday card to your family begin, “Remember me?” You may be a bad correspondent! At the Self-Hell Institute in Helsinki, we have a whole […]

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Kingston Bar & Grill

kingston bar and grill 2021 SW Morrison, 224-2115 Growing up in a truck driver-filled town, I became somewhat of a connoisseur of 24-hour diner food; there was Bart’s downtown–open all night–which served nearly everything fried, including the Wednesday night liver and onion special. (I tried it once on a dare and it was totally nasty.) […]

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Cafร‰ Lena

Cafรฉ Lena 2239 SE Hawthorne, 238-7087 To celebrate the 10th anniversary of this “restaurant for all the senses,” Café Lena has a revamped menu, introducing a “four course feast.” Serving in courses implies leisure and indulgence–the entrée shouldn’t arrive before the salad is finished, before the soup bowl is off the table. By dessert, customers […]

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The Pink Feather

The Pink Feather 14154 SE Division, 761-2030 When you’re sitting around with $6.79 to your name, and you’re so sick of watching your roommate play Crazy Taxi you could puke, escape to The Pink Feather. Like an oasis in the bleak, stripmall desert between Portland and Gresham, it’s the sort of divey restaurant I crave. […]

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People on the Go

Analysis for People on the Go

Am I a Globetrotter? Let’s face it, there are travelers and then there are “bad” travelers. Some of us wander around the world looking for adventure. Some of us wander around our apartments looking for that bong we had just a minute ago. Do you have what it takes to be an international jetsetter, or […]

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New York Vinny’s

New York Vinny’s Corner of 23rd Ave and Lovejoy I was planning to review the Good Samaritan Hospital cafeteria, until I witnessed the following disturbing scene: Approaching the 23rd Avenue entrance, a wild-haired half-naked man covered with electrodes suddenly came bursting through the doors. A small mob of nurses were in hot pursuit, screaming, “STOP […]

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Mint

Mint 816 N Russell St, 284-5518 Two weeks ago, I had my first meal at Mint, the latest upscale dining spot in North Portland. That night the waiter bent over backwards and into pretzels to please us; but then came the second visit. The service was abysmal; about half-way through dessert (after we were twice […]

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