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Food was never very important to my family when I was growing up, so my relationship to it has always been functional: I eat when hungry, and I don’t care whether I’m sharing the experience with anyone else. In fact, I never knew how important food was to some people–much less that people actually bonded […]

Twenty-nine cents for a hamburger? A person could feed a nation! A thirty-nine-cent cheeseburger? It’s insane! Sundays and Wednesdays. I couldn’t wait for these days to come around. Holding 60 cents in my hand, two quarters and a dime, standing in line, knowing exactly what to order. For years I lived almost next door to […]

Compiled by Wm. Steven Humphrey, Phil Busse, Julianne Shepherd, Katia Dunn, Quinn Viladas, Katie Shimer, Jessica Troiano, Monica Drake, and Louise Ross Low blood sugar is setting in, and you’re looking at the love of your life as if their head was a pork chop. The question arrives: “Where do you want to eat?” And […]

Recently, it has come to our attention that many people across the United States believe themselves to be in love with Benicio Del Toro. But before you leave your spouse and children, don’t you think you should be sure? Working around the clock with a team of crack Benicio Del Toro experts, we have put […]

Am I Fulfilling My Potential? Every month, here at the Self-Hell Institute in Helsinki, we receive thousands of letters from individuals just like you who are worried they may not be fulfilling their potential. This is a delicate question, and not one to be taken lightly. Many of the symptoms that may indicate a lack […]