I would like to thank the City of Portland for relaxing the enforcement of decent, hardworking, sober and law-abiding citizens who were unfortunate enough to lose their home: The homeless.

These people are decent folk simply down on their luck and just need a stable place to set up camp so that they can get back on their feet. I welcome new camps to be set-up throughout our fair city… my block, your block, OUR blocks. Their presence will only increase property values, make our children safer, reduce litter, crime, assault, drug-use and bring an overall feeling of rainbow-colored lollipop goodness.

This website is also cool: http://northparkblocks.org
There’s LOTS of interesting photos on there.

Bring on the love…

5 replies on “Coming to a Neighborhood Near YOU”

  1. Omigod, thank you SOOO much! I had no idea how gross and undesirable these people were. I was feeling all, like, sorry for them. You totally did us all a big favor.

  2. Read an article about one guy living in a homeless camp (PDX) waiting for the Spring Semester to start. Getting his Masters in Library Science….

  3. In light of the recent photo evidence that O-Live linked to, your headline should have been “Cumming In a Neighborhood Near You”.

  4. Yeah, all those poor unfortunate homeless are all the fucking same.

    I sleep outside. I don’t leave a tent up all day long. I don’t even use a tent at all. I travel light; one small bag; There’s a tarp, a hoodie, some toiletries, and one change of cloths. I take it out at night and toss it in the bushes for storage during the day. If anybody finds it, and keeps it or throws it in the trash, that’s a major inconvenience, but no big financial loss; cheaper to replace than the cost of storage, overall. I wash up in a lockable restroom at a hospital, or sometimes crash a college locker room to take a shower. I eat at the missions.

    It would be nice to have a parking garage for shelter on a rainy night, however. I don’t like having other homeless’ tents and backpacks blocking the sidewalk in my way, either.

Comments are closed.