This is for all of my fellow Portlanders who think they need to chime in on my child’s wardrobe. You don’t, and it’s none of your goddamn, fucking business! We don’t need your looks and snide comments as we walk the two blocks from the parking garage to the daycare because my kid is not dressed in a parka, trapper hat, and -10 degree gloves. It’s 50 degrees outside and he’s wearing two layers, including a long-sleeve shirt. He hates jackets and you pick your battles as a parent. For all of the talk about how Portland is full of “rugged, hardy, do-anything, conquer the outdoors individuals,” there really are a bunch of pansy ass people who can’t go outside for 5 minutes when it’s 50 degrees and drizzling, unless they are dressed like we live in the middle of fucking Siberia. We’re don’t! The Portland area has some of the most temperate climates on the West Coast. Start dressing like it and stop trying to parent other kids! Mind your own business Portland!

6 replies on “Portland’s Helicopter Non-Parents”

  5. I may not be the biggest fan of kids, but what a sentiment! We were all young once and we all remember what it was like to say “fuck off” to the elements, which in this city are so mild that they can be roundly ignored. Kudos to you for being as real as they come. I bet your kids will turn out just fine, or even better. Fuck all those judgemental pricks who don’t like what your kids are wearing. I would venture to say that it may be based on their not having the right look more so than their unpreparedness for the weather. Fuck ’em all, my friend!

  6. All of those rugged individuals know there is no bad weather, just bad gear. And have moved to the suburbs as they can’t afford to live in Portland proper anymore. But you are totally right. I used to play in the rain for hours as a kid. Next time tell them to F-U-C-K off.

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