Before watching this newscast, I had no idea that Obama killing himself was his number one priority upon entering office. And then there was the whole confusing episode of where Obama was hiding—was he in Pakistan or the White House? Unfortunately, Obama eventually got his wish, thanks to some help from the Navy SEALS… so all you Teabaggers who keep saying that Obama never accomplished anything? SHUT UP!! (Unless, of course, we’re talking about Osama.)


https://youtube.com/watch?v=8n14reQsr9Q

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

7 replies on “Don’t Kill Yourself, Obama! Wait… WHAT.”

  2. Like many Oregonians, I support an individual’s right to take his or her own life with the assistance of a special forces operation as long as you have less than six months remaining as president and the assisted suicide has been approved by a massive intelligence investigation first. However, Obama has the rest of this term and hopefully four more years beyond that, so special forces assisted suicide seems premature and it’s very concerning that he would even be discussing it.

  4. As soon as it happened, I knew someone would mix up “Osama” and “Obama.” My bets would have been on some Fox News douche doing it on purpose.

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