Mercury Staff

We recently published a very helpful list of the Portland employees you should be tipping on the regular. Unfortunately, we forgot about one. From "Cheap Ass Cone Lickers" on the I, Anonymous Blog.

I am tired of you cone lickers out there who come into my ice cream shop, taste a lot of flavors, get your scoop, and refuse to tip. You probably have no fucking clue how hard we actually work and how much our wrists hurt just to scoop up your precious fucking chocolate waffle cone. You tip your bartenders, right? Well we do just as much as they do except we get you wasted on sugar. Don't come in and demand to try everything and leave my tip jar unloved. It's mostly the people who CAN afford to tip who are the ones who don't. Take your cheap ass out of my shop until you can summon up some gratitude to us for breaking our wrists so you can have your miserable date night. Fucking cone lickers. And an extra precious FUCK YOU to the guy who put $20 in my tip jar just to take it out when his friends weren't looking. May all of your ice cream going forward taste like a yeast infection with dog shit toppings.

Got a confession, rant, or word of advice to get off your chest? Drop it off in the I, Anonymous Blog! (And see if YOUR I, Anonymous submission was featured in the I, Anonymous Show podcast!)