Olivia Storm

Apparently our Erik Henriksen's ground-breaking piece of reporting didn't quite take, and some of you STILL don't know how to ride the bus! Happily there's the I, Anonymous Blog, where this anonymous ranter is more than happy to share a refresher course.

Learn to ride the fucking bus! This shit ain't hard. But the last few waves of transplants have been worse than the last when it comes to figuring out how TriMet works. Here are a few tips from someone who's spent the last 2 decades getting around on the system. You could also figure a lot of this out with basic reasoning skills and situational awareness. Alas...

1) When someone's getting off the bus, get out of their way so they can get out the door. I don't know how many mornings I try to get off the bus through the back door only to find some bearded, beanie-wearing chud with headphones staring blankly at me. No, contrary to what is apparently popular belief, I can't phase through your body. We still live in a universe where two objects can't occupy the same physical space at once. Easy solution: get out of the fucking way. Is the bus too crowded? Step out of the back door, hold it so it doesn't close behind you, then hop back on afterward.

Oh, and don't worry, this writer has lots more bus-riding tips, so read the rest here. Hey, do you have some angry advice or a tearful confession you'd like to share anonymously? Then send it to the I, Anonymous Blog!

(And don't miss the upcoming I, Anonymous Showβ€”a live comedy extravaganza where comedians read the best of the I, Anonymous Blog... and it's also a podcast! Check 'em out here.)