But once again Portlanders have outdone themselves by creating an event that perpetuates our obsession (albeit our kinda annoying obsession) with being the weirdest city in the country.
PDX.FM presents:
THE 2010 UNICORN PUB CRAWL ?!?!?!????
Why unicorns you might ask? And what is the purpose of celebrating unicorns, you might also ask? Good fucking questions. PDX.fm doesn’t really answer them, but gives us only this info about the intended guest list for the crawl:
Calling all of the demented, fanciful, whimsical, and unparalleled inhabitants of the ancient unicorn burial ground also known as Portland, Oregon…
In any case, if you’re into unicorns, the crawl is taking place this Friday (the 16th) and starts at 7 pm at Amnesia Brewing on North Mississippi.
Oh and if you’re still confused about what this would even begin to look like (join the club), I’m posting an instructional video of how to make yourself look like a unicorn for a pub crawl such as this. Sheesh. What’s next, a pub crawl where everyone dresses up like brides going to a wedding?
Unicorns are the hipster’s bacon.
It’s like the intern hasn’t heard that the city was built on a unicorn burial ground.
I cast a skeptical eye towards the soulless fuck that would think to ask “Why would you celebrate Unicorns by wearing silly T-shirts and getting drunk at a succession of awesome bars on Mississippi street?”
And BACON is the hipster’s bacon.
No, unicorn bacon is a hipster’s bacon.
Seriously? You don’t know of the unicorn underlords? I thought that was well-known history. Some peoples’ children…
Hail and well met, Graham, you tubby bastard.
http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF103-Nice_Shir…
You seriously don’t know about the Unicorns? Seriously? You don’t understand that a Unicorn pub crawl is a sacred rite, passed down from generation to generation, father to son, mother to daughter? Are you from here? Do you not fear the unholy Unicorn uprising should the good people of Portland fail to appease the spirits of the Honored Unicorn Dead through acts of Unicornedness such as this?
You walk a fine line, sir, and your blasphemy may well be your undoing.
Hey! I’ve got an idea. How about I write a post about something I know nothing about. Actually, the post will be more about the fact that I know nothing about the thing I’m writing about than the thing itself. It’ll be awesome! I’ll even do some very cursory research and then I’ll be ironically enraged that I still know nothing about it!
Also… hipsters are unicorn’s bacon.
I prefer unicorn breasts, myself.
I thought unicorn’s were Jamaican.
The gelatin made from Unicorn hooves makes fabulous Jello shots and they sparkle in the sun………………
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5hbLOSVlcE
Brainnnns
Ya’ll don’t KNOW unicorns like I know unicorns… bytchez,
‘Specially Robot Unicorn Attack from Adult Swim with some bada$$ Erasure remix in da background. UGHHHhhhhhhHHHHH!!!!!!!
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-a…
I thought unicorns were code for Clay Aiken
And what does any of it have to do with ‘randomness’?
I’m lost as usual.