Under normal circumstances, the genre of “poetry” is as welcome in Mercury publications as a stubborn case of herpes. BUT! This poem is about herpes! Soooooo… what choice do we have?

I almost posted your face with the word Herpes
but decided instead to write this I, Anonymous piece.

This could be the best or worst poem about herpes you will ever read in your life. So by all means read the rest here! And if you have a rant or confession to make, don’t submit it to the I, Anonymous Blog in the form of poetry. You’re not talented enough to pull it off.

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)