Today in doomed relationships:

I wish that we had never become this close of friends and it kills me that you are such a pig sometimes. But, when I see you smile and the little twinkle in your chocolate colored eyes, I just lose it. Why can no other guy make me feel as happy as you do?

SAD! Got some good advice for the unappreciated and love-lorn? Drop it into the I, Anonymous Blog where your rants and confessions are always irresistible (even though you can be a pig sometimes).

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)