God! Isn’t Oregon, like, the worst??

I never met so many bigots and idiots until I moved to Oregon and I have lived in Florida, South Africa home of apartheid, and Simi Valley. I have played in Seattle, Everett, Hoquiam, Olympia, Snohomish, Longview, Renton Kent, Santa Ana, Boise, Yakima, PDX, Medford, Eugene, Grants Pass, Tigard, Hillsboro, Milwaukie,etc I have seen more rednecks in Beaverton,Tigard and Hillsboro than I ever did in Dallas Fort Worth Airport, Ocala,FL, Daytona Beach.

Well, my friend, I noticed that you have never been to Columbia, South Carolina, which in every way (except for the fact that their bars remain open until 5 am) is THE WORST. Luckily for all of us you can drop your confession or rant off in the I, Anonymous Blog—which is the least bigoted and idiotic place on earth!*

*citation needed

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)