Icky job of the week goes to this I, Anonymous Blog writer, who titled his piece, “I Suck, But I Had To.”

Yesterday some of my coworkers complained about a homeless lady in the ladies’ restroom. I kinda shrugged and said our only option, if it’s such a problem, is to keep that door locked like the tenants on all the other floors. No one wants to do that because we’re the only company on this floor. So just now someone came to my office and said the homeless woman is in the ladies’ room again. That means the receptionist and other women here want her to leave but don’t want to ask her to leave. So I went and did it. “You can’t be here.”

Find out what happens next here. In the meantime, send your rants and confessions to the I, Anonymous Blog—where you’re never exactly welcome, but we suppose you can stay.

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)