To the mailman who delivers more than just mail; fuck you and good riddance.
Your swinger/cheating lifestyle didn’t work in my monogamous relationship. You are a fool to think I would create a facade for your disgusting/shameful actions. I am ecstatic to be rid of you knowing the unfortunate bane or your existence. You better start sleeping with one eye open and your doors locked because it’s only a matter of time before you’re so called friends and the husbands/boyfriends of the women you’ve been fucking start coming for you. You lie to their face and in their homes just like you did to me. Your growing dementia, sexually transmitted diseases, loud, annoying over-bearing sister and her son, oh, I mean barely out of diapers, know-it-all boyfriend is now yours to deal with. All in the house you bought for me and paid too much for. You’re such a pathetic excuse of a man you can’t even fix anything in it. While you spend the rest of your cowardly life looking over your shoulder and creating more lies, I will now be safely enjoying mine.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!