Hey, bro-esque gentleman of the goatee wearing variety at Panda Express today, I sure hope you read this. As I was wolfing down my marginally edible meal of glossy chicken-like blobs and flavorless rice-like grains, you decided to address me, a complete stranger minding his own business. You said to me "Your grandma called, she wants her perm back," and walked away laughing with all your also pale skinned goatee and fleece wearing normy buddies. Wow, what comedic candor you posses! I'm sure you are a blast at open mics, just ride that light man! I know I'm dark skinned, have graying black hair, and have naturally thick curly hair. I get you were going for observational humor (What's the deal with brown people?). I'm not sure you know, but when we grow our hair out a little long, it looks like that. I understand you live in super white Portland, so all I could do was scoff at your child-like naivete. Thanks for reminding me what life was like in the South (or the Pacific Northwest for that matter) just 60 years ago, I appreciate the history lesson! And thanks for taking the edge off of it too, I'm glad you didn't resort to using those naughty words we can't use anymore.

Now maybe I'm overreacting, maybe you were really just trying to make fun of my naturally occurring hair type that is phenotypical to people of my ethnic origin, and not be a racist d-bag. Seriously though, check your privilege, bro-est of bros.