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Monday, June 24, 2013

We Don't All Think Your Fucking Kid's Cute

Posted by Anonymous on Mon, Jun 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM

Hold on to your ovaries: I am 43 years old and childless by choice. I like kids. I just don't want to raise one. That said, I'm not raising one, so I don’t personally understand the joys of bicycling with my children. However, I’d like to think that if I did have kids, and I was bicycling with them, and I chose to do it on the sidewalk, I’d teach them to slow down when they approach a corner. I like to think that if my daughter did go barreling out of control around a corner and almost run a person over, instead of looking at that person and expecting her to grin happily at the beautiful specter of a child who’s obviously been given no proper biking instruction almost running over her foot, I’d apologize profusely and remind my daughter to be careful when turning corners. I don’t imagine I’d be confused and offended when the victim of my (not my child’s) carelessness did not react with great pleasure at nearly being slammed into. Here’s a tip, asshole parent in SE Portland: if you’re going to travel with your kids at speeds greater than pedestrians on a sidewalk, teach them how to use their brakes, and to especially apply them when approaching blind corners. You may think it’s awfully adorable that your daughter was going too fast and forgot how to stop, but I did not, and I was also uncomfortable with the fact that I had to physically touch your child to keep her from slamming into me. Have some respect for others, you selfish dick. It’s not as cute as you think it is.

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